This site is dedicated to my fondness for fowl. Not in any way that requires years of therapy. It's not even my favorite meat. I just think it's neat. What can I say? I am easily amused.
Plus, it may have something to do with the fact that my first and middle names said together are a homonym of poultry (Paul Troy).

Friday, July 25, 2008

Don't Eat Soggy Waffles!

An interchange that happened this afternoon on the way home from work & daycare:

Lil Phez: Don't eat soggy waffles, right daddy?
Me: Huh? What baby?
Lil Phez: I told to you, "Don't eat soggy waffles". That's right, right daddy?
Me: Surrrrre. Okay, sweetie.
(About 10 minutes later; closer to our home)
Lil Phez: That way is eat, right daddy? And that way is waffles.
Me: (not hearing him completely) That's right, left is that way and right is that way.
Lil Phez: No daddy, soggy is there and don't is there. I know because 'don't eat soggy waffles.
Me: Ohhhh, baby it's not 'Don't', it's never. You're saying "Never Eat Soggy Waffles". That's neat that you know that. Who told you that?
Lil Phez: Diana at school. It was on her t=shirt with arrows.
Me: Cool. I learned it as "Never Eat Shredded Wheat"...it helps you remember directions.
Lil Phez: Yep.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Friday Shuffle - A Tribute Edition

Hi guys,

Yesterday one of our two 16 year old cats past away; JJ. He was aided in his departure by the vet and both Mrs. Phez and I were with him. So, with a nod to Fred to start the music, let's call this one out to my little grey and black tiger-striped kitty.
  1. "Lovely Rita", by the Beattles. A great song that makes some silly lyrics work. I love the piano stylings in this song reminiscent of "The Entertainer".
  2. "Divorce Song", by Lix Phair. Okay, not a great song. A good song, though. And I'm impressed that Liz got through a song without dropping the F-bomb. Woops, scratch that last part - I was writing this during the tail end of the song...no such luck.
  3. "What a Fool Believes", by The Doobie Brothers. A classic. But I admit that I really know the refrain.
  4. "Two Less Lonely People in the World", by Air Supply. Gag me with spoon.
  5. "Scared of You", by Nelly Fritada (Okay I know it's "Furtado", but Fritada is just a lot funnier)
  6. "Can't Stop This Thing We Started", by Bryan Adams. See how one gets punished for saying that they like 80's music?
  7. "I Can See For Miles", by the Who. The unknown continuation of that song is, "...When I'm Not in a Drug Induced Stupor".
  8. "Back In The Saddle", by Aerosmith.
  9. "Strawberry Fields Forever", off of the Across the Universe soundtrack
  10. "Good Feeling", by the Violent Femmes.

Well that it's for the very odd shuffle. Peace, everyone.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Today Is Hilda's Birthday

Please go over to her blog and wish her a happy one. Her in-laws are visiting them from out of town. I won't say anything more...just go over wish that girl a happy b-day for the love of God!

Nope. Not Dead.

Busy? Yes.

Tired? Yes.

Lazy? Yes.

Happy that I have Blogger Friends that care about me? Yes.

Dead? Not yet.

I will post again soon. Sorry everyone!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Say What?

As a dad, there are words and phrases that you never think you'll hear yourself say to your little ones. Take for example, "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...it's okay to smoke pot - recreationaly", or "I've had my doubts before, but now I know for sure...you're way too smart to be my offspring". These are things I can go to my grave without ever saying. Tonight I said something though that was almost as alarming:

Stop brushing your teeth, already!

Mrs. Phez bought Lil' Phez a new tooth brush this past weekend that when the operator of said hygienic cleaning device squeezes it, the thing will light up & start flashing a tacky & obtrusive fun & creative pattern of lights for the mandated suggested period of time allotted for brushing ones teeth that will provide for the sufficient removal of calcified sap from an 800 year old Sequoia bits of Cheetos from the youngsters teeth.

It was upon the occasion of my child squeezing the ?!@#?#@! toothbrush for the 4th time that I begged the Gods from the heavens above for the benevolent mercy to cease the antics of the toothbrush and in exchange I would offer my internal organs to be served at the nearest Benihana asked the kid to knock it off. Because, by this point in the evening, I wasn't sure which was to come first: (a)the end of the tooth brushing so my kid would go to bed, or (b)the apocalypse. I was betting on the latter.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

To Shamelessly Promote a Product or Not - That Is the Question!

Up until now I haven't ever promoted any products or services on my blog. It isn't that I am against it, although I do lean heavily towards the opinion that huge corporations don't need my assistance when they pour millions into Madison Avenue.

It really is a great system as it is and we the commoners don't need to mess with it. The corporations spend advertising dollars thus keeping folks employed in marketing firms, finishing houses and a whole bunch of other places too, I suppose. So why am considering throwing my leanings into the wind in order to promote a line of products?

Is it because I am getting paid commission? Nope! Though, if the company wanted to send me a complimentary product or two, I wouldn't complain.

Is it some type of marketing pyramid like Amway? Hell, no.

Is it because I like the performance of the products I've tried so far and I like that the company uses materials that are non-toxic, environmentally friendly, and never tested on animals? Well, yeah!

Don't get me wrong. While I want the planet to stick around for as long as possible and cherish the idea of my great-great-great-great grand kids living on said planet without the aid of an oxygen tank or a body suit, I don't necessarily consider myself I twig eating tree hugger.

Also, as far as I can tell, they're not a huge corporation; they're the little guy on the block and that's another reason I don't mind asking others to consider trying these guys out.

The company is called Seventh Generation. Here is their website. Their products are available at Publix and Target - maybe other places, I just know of these two retailers.

So far, we've only used their spray cleaner (similar to Clorox spray) and their dish detergent. I saw the spray cleaner in the store and at first, I was skeptical. But I saw that it was environmentally friendly and non-toxic. With a 8 month old and a 4 year old, I bought it. A few weeks later, I came across the dish detergent in the same Publix. So I bought that too. When I first used, I thought I was going to be disappointed. It comes out very watery and there is no fake lemony smell to tell you that this stuff cleans great. Another nod to Madison avenue for bringing us, the American Consumers, to yet another illogical conclusion. But damned if it doesn't clean just as well, if not better, than the other brands.

So, give it a try. Tell me what you think!

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Cute, Even If I Do Say So Myself


Thanks Erick for taking the picture and for including it in your Flickr Photostream.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Friday Shuffle, Shuffle Me Into The Weekend, Puh-lease!

It's a coupla crazy weeks. And yes, I miss blogging. I think what I miss more is visiting (and reading) the posts of my blogging friends! So in all of this craziness that I have going on right now, I couldn't even find time to hang with Fred. So this shuffle is sans-Fred. Instead, I am using the massive compilation that I have access to via one of the servers at my work. There are over 7 thousand tracks on that bad boy. Everybody contributes. It's kinda cool because you never know what you're gonna get. To that end, I will call this source of tunes "Life".

Take 'er away, Life!
  1. "Miss Bonfield", by the Fab Five. Who are the guys, you ask? Only the best Soka band there is!
  2. "Say", by the Corrs. I think Hilda added this one to the mix. Not too shabby, I s'pose.
  3. "Rimsky", by Arturo Sandoval
  4. "Force Ten", by Rush
  5. "What's the Matter Here?", by 10,000 Maniacs
  6. "It Doesn't Have To Be (Like That)", by Erasure
  7. "Major Tom", by David Bowie...and everyone wants to know whose shirts you wear!
  8. "Family Business", by the Fugees - Okay, I know some of you are impressed.
  9. "The Journey", by Boston - Okay, I know that those same people are no doubt horrified.
  10. "Are You Having Any Fun", by Tony Bennett - Wow.
This shuffle has been all over the place. Which is why I guess it reminds me of a family summer road trip, and just like a family trip some of the stops were relished and others - not so much. Well, here is to awesome road trips to all! Have a great weekend!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Just for the Halibut

Some will say I am a very punny guy. Of course, most folks wouldn't dare say such a thing. But in an effort to get more people into that camp, I am bringing you some really punny stuff.

This first set comes from my memory of when I used to be in AOL chat rooms - do they still have those? Anyway, we used to think of iconic phrases or names and do a switcheroo with the word "spam". This was done as a tribute to the mystery meat of all mystery meats. Oh, oh...I just thought of a pun: What did the butcher say to the whole cow that arrived at his shop? Nice to meat you. Get it? Meat you, instead of meet you. Meat you. He's a butcher. He said meat you. Oh my Gawd, I crack myself up!

Okay, so here we go:
10. Duck! It's a drive by spamming!
9. Introducing: Spammy Davis Junior!
8. Just for the spam of it.
7. Here's spam in your eye.
6. It's all fun & games until someone loses a spam.
5. I'm so hungry I could eat a spam.
4. Let's run it up the spam pole to see if any one salutes.
3. Even a blind pig will find a spam sometimes.
2. It's so hot outside that I could fry a spam on the sidewalk.
1. All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give spam a chaaaance!

Which brings me to one of my favorite things to do in mixed company. No, not that! I like to sing the lyric "All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give peace a chaaaance!" But I change the word peace to whatever suits my fancy. One of my favorites:
All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give crack a chaaaance!
All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give necrophilia a chaaaance!
All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give sex with your cousin a chaaaance!

And another head turner I just discovered while blogging at work: Go up to a bunch of your coworkers and say: "...and how do you spell necrophilia?".

Okay, I think I'm done now. I hope this posting was enjoyable for you as it was me. Oh, and if you want to leave a comment with some more spam phrases, be my guest!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Well, Isn't That Silly?!

I remember growing up hearing and then retelling the tale of how silly the execs. at GM were for trying to sell their Chevy Nova in Spanish speaking countries. Their silliness comes from the fact idea that the word Nova sounds a lot like the Spanish words no va, which translates to doesn't go. So, no one in those countries bought the car and it was a huge failure all because the corporation trying to sell something didn't do their research.

Well, apparently it never happened. Yes the car was sold in some Spanish speaking countries but it was not a failure and there is no evidence that consumers mistook it to mean no va. See this informative article that debunks the mythic lore on http://www.snopes.com/ for more info.

The Snopes article goes on to make the point that the folks who spread the urban legend are doing the very same thing that the tale is finding fault with: Not doing adequate research before hand. There are a lot of marketing courses and books that cite this anecdote as proof of poor preparation / fact checking. I guess the material was created before Snopes was around. :-)

There is another legendary tale of linguistic snafus in marketing about a slogan from the vacuum company, Electrolux. The slogan was, "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux" and it was purported that due to the poor translation into English, that the ad hurt sales for the company. Well, that turns out to be another falsehood because where the slogan was promoted, the U.K., the word suck is not used, or at least it wasn't used back then, to mean "to do poorly", the exact opposite of the ad's intent.

Why have I brought to you these tales of marketing gone wrong do to loose translations? I have no idea. If you figure out the reason for me, leave a post. The most probable answer will win a prize!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

What Does This Photo Say To You?

This is a picture taken by a friend of mine while he was on vaycay.

He's gonna hit me now because that's way too cutsey-wootsey of a word for him. This is a test to see if he really reads my blog or not. And, yes, I have his permission to post it.

So what does the picture say to you? I'm not asking what's in the photo, but rather, what sort of feelings does it evoke (or is it invoke)?

Second Question - Do you like the photo? Do you not like it? Why? (Okay, so technically that was 3 questions, but they're all related)

PS Thanks Erick for the permission to post your photography...more to come - maybe.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

More Thoughts On Parenting - Your Thoughts Please

Last night Matt and I went for a run...

...an ice cream run, that is. You know, where ya run out to get something, like ice cream. You didn't think that I meant...that we went....if you were thinking those horrible thoughts about me, then take them back. The only time you'll find me running is if someone is chasing me.

But I digress...

So, while we're at the DQ, we were standing in line behind a mom who was ordering ice cream with her youngin', I'd say he was about 8, and the patriarch of their family was sitting on a bench nearby. As she is trying to tell the ice scream scooper kid what they wanted, she was interrupted by her son who was whining and pleading for something...I can't tell you what exactly because of a language barrier, but suffice it to say that it was ice cream related. He was pulling on her blouse while half-saying & half-crying the words, "Mami, Mami!" over and over. He was so annoying.

The mom then turns to the ice cream scooper kid and conveyed the kid's request, with the help of her husband who spoke English. That's right; the kid was given whatever he was whining for! So they were ordering some more stuff when the kid starts up again. I complained to Matt about the kid being a brat and he just shrugs it off with a grateful appreciation that he doesn't have to deal with the kid. I wish I could do that. But instead, I let it irk me. So anyway, apparently this time the kid didn't get what he wanted because he stomped off away from her, then he turned around, and threw something at her. HE THREW SOMETHING AT HER!!! He ended his performance by throwing himself onto the bench where he pouted and whimpered. Did I mention the kid is 8, maybe 9? So she finishes her order, pays for it, and then turns to her family where she gives the kid his ice cream.

In my head, I am playing out the scenario as if it were me and Lil' Phez (who's 4) in the roles of the mom and her kid, and let me tell you: None of the scenarios end in me giving him ice cream. I still get pissed thinking about it.

They then go outside and sit on the benches in the front of the store to eat their ice cream. We buy our stuff and 5 minutes later we exit the store. When we get outside, the kid is wailing about something. I so wanted to tell that kid a word or two - or three or four. That little spoiled brat. Instead I muttered something to Matt and just shrugged as we trotted out to the my car and headed home.

So, here's the question....should I have said something? This is assuming the kid understands English.

The Difference Between....

...new parents and veteran parents

Scenario: Baby eating at the table and their barely eaten food falls off the table onto the floor and the family dog heads over in that direction

New Parent: Well, at least we don't have to clean it up. Enjoy, Fido.

Veteran Parent: (thinking of the expense of the meal or the time it took to prepare, says to the other parent) Quick honey, before the dog gets to it. Be sure to brush it off really well.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Friday Shuffle - The Work My Arse Off Edition

Isn't "Arse" a great word? It sounds so much better than the American version of the word, don't ya think? Well, even if you don't - I do...and this is my blog so guess what? It's staying no matter what you say!!!!

Sorry, it's 5:30 in the morning and I am leaving shortly to go to work for the next 14 or so hours. Won't I be super-fun to work with? Well at least I got my shuffle in. Okay Fred, I need a really really good shuffle please.

  1. "Can't Stand Losing You", by the Police.
  2. "Jackamo Road", by John Mellencamp.
  3. "Somebody Help Me", by the Iguanas. I love this group and this is a great song with great lyrics: Somebody help me, I can't do it on my own.
  4. "Brown Sugar", by The Rolling Stones. Okay, I'm afraid I might jinx this but Fred is doling out some seriously good kick-ass tunes!
  5. "You Are Everything", by Michael McDonald. Well, there ya go. Jinxed.
  6. "Where Are You Boy", by Patty Loveless (from the Tin Cup soundtrack) - okay, who else other than Sari and me know (and love) this move, and soundtrack?
  7. "I Heard It Through The Grapevine", [sung by] by Michael McDonald. Just as good as the Marvin Gaye version.
  8. "That's Where I'll Be", by Little Big Town.
  9. "Solbsury Hill", by Peter Gabriel
  10. "In My Life", by the Beattles.
Not too shabby, Fred. 9 out of 10 songs. Okay, I'm off. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend everyone.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

It's Time To Clean House!

I originally had typed, as the title, "It's Time To Clean Horse!" And while I am not sure if that title is more suited for an educational video on animal husbandry, let me tell you that is not the title of the post. Nope, this is a quick post to let you all know that I've done some spring cleaning on my blog, namely in the blogroll quadrant of the place.

Here are the blogs that I have removed from the blogroll...
Queue Taps...
Dixie Peach - She seems like a nice enough lady but she loses me with the knitting. Knitting scares me just a little.
I Am Husband - The guy has just started his blog so I wanted to give it a chance. At first the premise, How To Be A Better Husband, sounded great but from the tone of his posts, I am concerned he is going to try to sell his readers a book or something. Maybe I'll go back once I learn how to read.
PoppyMom - One of my real world friends, who is also a blogger friend, loves this blog. I just can't get into it. The writing is just a little too biting for me. Yet, Elise's blog, which often features biting, and other forms of pleasure among consenting adults, is still proudly featured on my blogroll.
Shooter McFinney - Another real world friend. She hasn't posted since January, so she's off the island! We bloggers are a fickle lot!
Shoulders of Giant Midgets - I'm not sure how I came across this conquest blog that I felt it should be on my blogroll, but my infatuation seems to be over now.
Southern Muslimah - This young lady came to my blog via another blogger on my blog roll and she mentioned that she too is a huge fan of Chick-fil-a and that was enough for me back then to have her on the blogroll. I've grown. She's grown. It's over but I will never look at another waffle fry the same way again.

Here is the blog that I've added to the blogroll:
Queue drumroll please...
The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile -
The ebb and flow of bloggers and blogs and blogrolls is a neat phenomenon thingy. About a month ago Sari demanded encouraged that her readers at The Geek Inside go check out her friend's blog called Sveedish. So I did and I now go back on a regular basis. While reading the comments there I've noticed some really funny ones from Michael C, so I checked out his blog. I am hooked and I waited the respectable 72 hours before adding the blog to my blogroll. I am taking a queue from Sari and I am insisting recommending that if you're reading this sentence, then after you've left me a comment, go over to Michael's blog and have a good belly laugh!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

What Are You Worth?

I've been at work for 11 hours today and have 2 or 3 more to go. We are working on critical issues that have continued to resurface on this project over the last 5 months, since we implemented it. We spend time on implementing solutions over several weeks only to be in the same spot a month or two later. We work nights and weekends. It makes me ask, "What am I worth"?

I know that I am worth one-fifth of forty dollars in pizza because that's what we ate for dinner and the big boss, who isn't here, offered to pay for dinner. I hope I don't lose the crinkled register receipt that is currently in my shirt pocket, otherwise, my worth will be diminished even more. I don't mind working late sometimes but it just makes me wonder....what's it all for? What is my worth? Have you asked yourself that question lately? What is a stay-at-home-mom's worth? How is it measured? In dirty diapers or toothless smiles?

I know my measure as a husband and as a father, but how is my worth measured as a business analyst? Do you wonder about these things? Should I? Or should I just get back to work so that I can go home sooner than later?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Smokin!

(The title is to be read the way that Jim Carey's character says it in Mask)

Our little hamlet of Miami has wildfires beckoning at its borders. It's been going on for a while now.
The first set of fires was north of us along the coast. Those have been put out and now there is another set in the everglades. As of this morning, the 36,000 acre blaze has been 30% contained, according to AP. We've been warned via the media to stay in doors because of poor air quality due to the amount of smoke in the air. It is getting pretty bad. There seems to be no danger of homes and other buildings catching fire, but being one that always sees the glass as half-full, I have my marshmallows, graham crackers, and Hershey's chocolate bars ready to go!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Okay, I Liked the Show and All, But...

...a fan club for The Greatest American Hero?

Have these fans seen what the star of the show looks like nowadays?

Then...
















Now...

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Playing Hookie & Making Whoopee

Mrs. Phez and I took yesterday off as previously planned to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. Spontaneity is something that we find hard to come by with two youngin's and busy work schedules but that doesn't mean we can't have fun. We scheduled the days off from work and Mrs. Phez made lunchtime reservations at Texas De Brazil. The night before I made a special trip after the boys went to bed to pick up some rentals from BlockBuster: The Lady In the Water and PS I Love You. Here is [an edited] recap of our playdate.


Preparation Stage:
We got up around 6 am and got the boys ready for daycare / preschool. I took them to school and the Mrs. returned to bed and caught a little more shut eye.

First Movie - The Lady in the Water
This is one of "those" movies by M.Knight Salamander, no wait, M.Knight Shawarma, no wait, M.Knight Sha-la-la-la-ding-dong, you know the guy, he did Sixth Sense and Signs and some other cool movies. This one was just as cool. I remember the previews when it was in the theater and who ever designed those previews should've been fired, because it's nothing like what the previews make you think it's going to be. But, thanks to Matt, I knew that when we rented it. We liked it very much. It had more twists than a, than a, well, than something with a lot of twists! And at one point, it cleverly made fun of itself.




Lunch Date - Texas De Brazil
The movie finished around 11:30 so it was time to head out to our special anniversary lunch. I'd never been to one of these all-you-can eat fancy grilled meat places before. There are 3 that we know of: Texas De Brazil, The Knife, and Porcao. It was a toss up between TDB and Porcao and TDB won. It was very nice but maybe there was a bit more build up to it in my head than there should have been, but it was still worth the cost for a one time experience.


Second Movie - PS I Love You
A perfect "date movie". It was a tear jerker, I mean, for girls who cry, not for a manly-man like myself. I do have to see an allergist though because my eyes seemed to get a bit watery while watching the film.




Friday, May 16, 2008

The Friday Shuffle - The Kill Me Now If It Weren't For Tivo Edition

Last night Mrs. Phez and I were watching Don't Forget the Lyrics with the yummy-delicious (in her words) Wayne Brady.

We like watching the show and we like watching even better with the assistance of our Tivo. They have about 10 minutes of worthwhile content that they stretch out to a 30 minute program.

Here is an example:
Contestant: (singing the missing lyrics to a song we all know the lyrics to - yes, Hilda, even me)
Wayne Brady: Would you like to lock in those lyrics?*
Contestant: Yes Wayne, lock in those lyrics!
Wayne Brady: Okay, let's find out if those are the lyrics...right after this break
[[[Commercial Break]]]
Wayne Brady: (to the camera) Welcome back everybody to Fox's "Don't Forget the Lyrics" and we're here with [name] who has just locked in her lyrics.
Wayne Brady: (to the contestant) Are you ready [name] to see if those are the correct 11 missing words?
Constestant: Uh-huh.
Wayne Brady: Okay, show us the last two words
(Suspenseful music plays for 10 seconds as the camera does a close of the contestant. Then a ta-da kind of music as they show that the words are correct. This is repeated 1 to 2 words at a time for the rest of the answer. There are about 8 questions and answers...they-are-all-pretty-much-like-this. If it wasn't for Tivo I'd be saying thins like, "For the love of meatloaf, get it over already!")


But fortunately for us, we are able to sit there contently with Tivo in hand watching our sexy her sexy Wayne Brady do his thing for 10 minutes.

In celebration of Tivo, take 'er away Fred!

  1. "What It Takes", by Areosmith. I think it bears repeating from earlier Friday Shuffles: I share Fred with Mrs. Phez - not all the songs in his repertoire are mine
  2. "Hey Tonight", by Clearwater Creedence Revival
  3. "Peaceful World", by John Mellencamp
  4. "Problem Child", by AC/DC
  5. "Something", by the Beatles
  6. "Please Do Not Go", by Violent Femmes - I went through a Femme phase in high school - I'm not ashamed
  7. "Rainin' In My Heart", by The Fabulous Thunderbirds
  8. "Shoot Out The Lights", by Richard & Linda Thompson
  9. "Hello", by Lionel Richie
  10. "Gold", by John Stewart
Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wacky Wednesday - De Ja Vu

Here is the 6th edition of: Wacky Wednesday. In an effort to continue to bring you the finest of Wacky Wednesday submissions, I have scoured the Internet, and any other source for that matter, looking for an odd tidbit to share with you all. And, as always, I will cite the source, unless they swear me to anonymity.

Personality Transplants: Cheryl Johnson, 37, described to London's Daily Telegraph in March the many ways in which her personality suddenly changed following a new kidney that she received from a deceased, 59-year-old man. Some researchers believe in such a "cellular memory phenomenon," but it is unclear whether, for example, Johnson's recent abandonment of trashy reading in favor of Dostoevsky and Jane Austen would qualify. [Daily Telegraph (London), 3-16-08]

Sonny Graham of Hilton Head, S.C., committed suicide in April after having spent 13 years with the transplanted heart of suicide victim Terry Cottle. The cellular implication is somewhat less likely, though, because Graham's widow was the same woman who was married to Cottle at the time of his suicide. [IslandPacket.com (Hilton Head), 4-5-08]

Until next time, enjoy your Wacky Wednesday!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Sam The Snake

Everynight Lil Phez and I, or sometimes Lil Phez and Mrs. Phez, read a book and then we tell his doggy a story. "Sam the Snake", is a bedtime story that I created a few months ago for Lil Phez and he asks for it almost every night. I am passing it along to any parent in the blogsphere looking for a bedtime story. Here it goes:



Once upon a time there was a snake. His name was Sam. Sam the snake. Sam the snake was feeling sorry for himself because he couldn't do all the awesome things that his friends could do. There was Gary the Gorilla and he was very strong. There was Geoffrey the Girraffe who could see very far on account of his very long neck. And there was Toni the Tiger who was very fast. Sam couldn't do any of those things and it made him feel sad.


Then one day, all four of them were out playing together in their neighborhood when they decided to go into vacant house. They weren't supposed to go inside, but they did anyway. They went in the front door, down the hallway, up some stairs and into a room where they played. All of sudden, the door SHUT! They tried to open it, but it was stuck.


Gary the Gorrilla said, "I'll use my muscles and I will force the door open". He tried but it wouldn't budge. Toni the Tiger said " I will use my speed by running and then crashing through the door". He ran really fast and hit into the door but he couldn't break it. Geoffrey the Giraffe said I will use my tall neck to see long distances and look for help". He raised his neck taller and taller and until -boom- he bumped his head on the ceiling. Sam layed there on the floor next the door wondering how he could possibly help everyone when he noticed that if he tried really hard, he might be able to fit under the door. So he wriggled, and he wriggled, and he wriggled some more until he was able to slither under the door. He did it!

Sam the Snake went down the hallway, down some stairs, and out of the house. He went down the block to Larry the Locksmith where he got a key that would fit the lock on the door. He then went back to the house, where he went inside and went down the hallway, up some stairs and back to the room with the locked door. He used the special key and was able to open the door and let out all of his friends. They all thanked him for helping them and Gary the Gorilla said, "You were able to do something that none of us could do. You are very special. Thank you, Sam." They went to the park where they laughed and they played and they never went in the house again.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Friday Shuffle - The Cold Fighters Edition

Okay so everyone in the Pheasant House is under the weather - to varying degrees. Hopefully Fred will shuffle us up a mix that will make us feel better.

Oh, and yesterday marked our 15th wedding anniversary. I love that woman so much. How much? I plan on showing her as soon as we both feel better and can send the little ones off with our friends. ::wink, wink::

(Note to self: Do not copy this blog entry into the blog journal album that you are keeping for the kids to see when they get older.)

Okay, so on to the shuffle - take 'er away Fred!

  1. "Another Again", by John Legend. This song is kinda hot. He seems like he'd be a cool guy to hang out with.
  2. "You Decorated My Life", by Kenny Rogers. Okay, this song seems fitting enough in recognition of our wedding anniversary.
  3. "Overs", by Simon & Garfunkel. Um, this song is more than just a little bit depressing.
  4. "Big Joe and Phantom 309" performed by Ray Bierl. When I was in middle school, I bought a compilation album, from one of those music clubs, that consisted of various trucker-type songs. I'm...not...sure...why. Since then, I've lost it, but I always remember this one song that I really liked. It would make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Well, this is the song, and thanks to Itunes, I own it again.
  5. "Proudest Monkey", by Dave Matthews Band. I've got to get me my fix of DMB every now and again.
  6. "Who Put the Alphabet in Alphabetical Order?", by They Might Be Giants. And my oldest has to get his fix of TMBG every now and again.
  7. "Beyond the Sea", performed by Robbie Williams. A very nice lovey-dovey song. Not a bad version from a 30-something British pop star.
  8. "Fury", by Little Big Town. I always read that song title as "Furry".
  9. "Holiday" by Green Day. Great band! Fred is showing his diversity, wouldn't you say?
  10. "Where Have All The Flowers Gone", by Peter, Paul & Mary. Now Fred is being a show off.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Wacky Wednesday - Nip/Tuck, Yuck!

After a brief hiatus, here is the 5th edition of: Wacky Wednesday. In an effort to continue to bring you the finest of Wacky Wednesday submissions, I have scoured the Internet, and any other source for that matter, looking for an odd tidbit to share with you all. And, as always, I will cite my source, unless they swear me to anonymity.


Here is a bit of unsettling news from the "beautiful" state of California:



"Many of my young patients think about getting plastic surgery the way they'd think about getting their hair done," explained Dr. David Alessi of Beverly Hills, Calif., who is still amazed at women's willingness to endure "extreme" cosmetic alterations.

"Vaginal rejuvenation" (labiaplasty) might be the most sensational procedure, but surgeons also do "forehead implants" and ankle and shoulder liposuction, break and reset jaws to tweak smiles, and lengthen or shorten toes (for "toe cleavage" with certain shoes).

Alessi told a Glamour magazine writer for an April story that one 25-year-old recently asked him to "remove" her navel (whereas most umbilicoplasty patients merely request reshaping). Said a bemused colleague, "There's some consensus about what makes for an attractive ... face, but we have no definition of the ideal navel." [MSNBC-Glamour, 4-20-08]

I couldn't find any photos to compliment this story, while there were images of labiaplasty available via Google Images, I opted not include them. But I wanted to give you guys something, so here is a pic of the Poster Child for Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong:













Until next time, enjoy your Wacky Wednesday!

Things You Never Thought You'd Hear

This morning, Lil Phez crawled into bed and joined me, Mama Phez, and Baby Phez, who beat Lil Phez by 5 minutes, for some wake up cuddle time. I was really enjoying it. That's when Lil Phez looked towards the foot of the bed and said, "Daddy, your feet are red. Just like a Princess!".

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

So, What Did You Do This Evening?

Two days before our fifteenth wedding anniversary and I spent it with Mrs. Phez in the bathroom - she was painting my toenails. You know, in preparation for that thing I am doing at my department's quarterly meeting tomorrow.



I am going to wait to have my fingernails painted until just before I perform. I wouldn't want anyone starring at me unnecessarily.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, and God I hope you weren't, I learned this evening that my dress size is 16 and my shoe size in women's shoes is 11W.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Little Known Facts About Hillary

Probably more entertaining than the facts I am about to share with you is the reason that I came across them. I work in a I.T. department of about 400 people and we have quarterly departmental meetings. While flow charts and schematic drawings might pique the interest of the few, it certainly doesn't do it for most of us - so, for a few years now, we've had a group within the dept. responsible for a bit of entertainment to break the monotony of the 4 hour meeting.

It wasn't supposed to be our turn this time around, but no one would do it so with two days to plan, we found out today that our VP agreed that we'd fill in. We are doing a spoof on a Presidential Debate but we are making the questions and answers relative to our work environment. You'll never guess who they talked into portraying Hillary! I'll give you a clue...one of the times we did this before, we did a spoof on American Idol and I was Troyjaya. Well, Troyjaya and Hillary will look a lot like.

So, in researching for my part, here are some interesting facts (okay, maybe not all of them are facts - some are allegations) about our next President - maybe.

1. In 1969, after Hillary Diane Rodham graduated with departmental honors in political science, she worked her way across Alaska, washing dishes in Mount McKinley National Park and sliming salmon in a fish processing cannery in Valdez (which fired her and shut down overnight when she complained about unhealthy conditions).




2. It took Bill Clinton 4 years to make Hilary become his wife. They started dating in 1971. Hillary Rodham and Bill Clinton were married on October 11, 1975, in a Methodist ceremony in their living room





3. Bill Clinton returned to the Governor's office in1982. Only then Hillary Diane Rodham began to use the name Hillary Clinton, or sometimes "Mrs. Bill Clinton", in order to have greater appeal to voters.







4. From 1986 to 1992 Hillary Clinton was enjoying six-year tenure as a director of Wal-Mart, the nation’s largest company. Fellow board members and company executives say Mrs. Clinton used her position to champion personal causes, like the need for more women in management and a comprehensive environmental program.




5. Hillary Clinton became involved in a scandal about having a lesbian affair with her personal aide Huma Abedin.

A new book by Edward Klein, ‘The Truth About Hillary’ is said to make some claims about Hillary Clinton having lesbian relationships.





I have to go now and practice making funny faces in front of the mirror. Wish me luck!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

A Benefit of Living in South Florida

You can smack your child, or anyone else for that matter, and get away with it. What's more...you'll likely be lauded as a helper of the downtrodden rather than an assailant. I'm talking about mosquito control, folks. Yesterday, at Lil' Phez's birthday pool party, he walked up to me and was telling something about what another kid at the party was doing when I smacked him on his forehead. I caught him in mid-sentence. The look of stun on his face was amazing. I explained to him that he had a big fat juicy mosquito on his forehead and I still had the squished evidence in the palm of my hand. He said, "Oh, okay." and went back off to his buds.

How many of you that live where it snows can say that, hmmm?

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

Okay, so he turned 4 today and he's the older of our two beautiful boys, but he is still our baby boy. Four? Four!


Happy Birthday, Little Man! You are my son and my inspiration. I love you.


Look at What Lil' Phez Made

*Okay, so this isn't actually his hands, but you get the idea.


Earlier tonight, or technically last night, Lil Phez and I were in his room doing the night time getting ready for bed stuff when he made the shape of a heart with his hands.

Lil' Phez: You know what that is, Daddy?

Me: What is it?

Lil' Phez: It's my heart. It has my uncle in it.

Lil' Phez has four uncles, one of which, the one he his named after, passed away 29 years ago - he was only twelve. About a month ago, I gave Lil' Phez a picture of his uncle in a frame for his night stand and said that this uncle would watch over him while he slept. Not being real big on a physical place called Heaven or Hell, I told him that his uncle, my brother, had died but was in my heart & mommy's and would now be in his heart.

Side Note: Seeing as how I was only 7 when my brother died, my wife hadn't met him, but she still has a lot of love for him. He was so special and my family have shared so many stories with her about him, that she feels that she knew him and knows that she had she met him, she would've loved the hell out of him, just like we all got the awesome opportunity to do - even as brief as his time was with us. Isn't it strange / awe inspiring how we can have love for a person that we never met?

Friday, May 2, 2008

Friday Shuffle - Complete with Pictures!

A few weeks ago I had posted about Miami Vice. I now get several hits every week from people around the world looking for this image. So, in an effort to expand my global presence, I will be including some pics of the artists for each of Fred's selections for this week's Shuffle. Therefore it is with unbridled exuberence that I say onto Fred, "Take Er Away, Fred!"

Oh, and we're only doing five tracks for this edition, what with the images making it a much longer post and all.


"Take A Chance On Me", by ABBA - Okay, just how ashamed should I be?














"Tequila Sunrise", by the Eagles















"It's All Over Now", by the Rolling Stones. The image for the Eagles was a cover of the Rolling Stone mag and now Fred plays something by the Stones...hmmm.












"What The World Needs Now" by Jackie De Shannon. By who?












Okay so I looked her up. I know her hits but never knew her name. She also composed the hit by Kim Carnes, "Bette Davis Eyes", which is a song I really like.



"Country Road", by James Taylor. Classic.














"Large World Turning", by John Mellencamp. This is from his album, Mr. Happy Go Lucky; I really like this album alot!













Have a great weekend everyone! Feel free to comment on your favorite pic!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

My Big Foray Back Into Blogging...

It's a new month, everyone.

Happy May 1st everyone!


Okay, that's pretty much all I got!




Except to say that I know we've most of us have had lulls in our blogging activity and I've seem to hit mine this past month. But it's a new month so here's to blogging more frequently! ***raising symbolic glass of Cristal***

Okay, that burst of enthusiasm is spent. Will I really blog more in May? I guess it depends if anyone gives a crap. So how many of you really care that I blog? Please leave a comment and let me know.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Friday Shuffle: The Eventually Edition

Okay, so it's Sunday, not Friday. But I'm not complainin' Friday (at work) was hectic and Friday night (after work) was a blast. There was no time for the Shuffle. "What about Saturday?", you ask. Two separate trips to the park, the latter one including a picnic lunch. Errands here and there...again, no time for the shuffle. No complaints here. But I am glad to have found some time to have blogged and given Fred a chance to shuffle his thang!
  1. "Sisters of The Moon", by Fleetwood Mac - Is it horrible that I actually don't know this song, what with me being a big Fleetwood Mac fan and all?
  2. "What a Fool Believes", by The Doobie Brothers - Really, why isn't this group called Michael McDonald and the other guys?
  3. "Born To Jive", by Sha-Na-Na - okay, nooo, I don't own any albums by Sha-Na-Na, if such a thing is even possible, this off of the Grease Soundtrack. What does hand jive mean, anyway?
  4. "Save Me a Saturday Night", by Neil Diamond - Yep, don't know this song either.
  5. "Jimmy Gets High", by Daniel Powter
  6. "A Horse With No Name", by America
  7. "Open Road", by Ryan Adams
  8. "Octopus' Garden", by The Beattles - What a care-free acid laden song for the whole family!
  9. "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" by They Might Be Giants
  10. "Run-Around" by Blues Traveler

Okay, well Fred gave us a bit of an obscure shuffle this time around. I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Just 'Cuz

Here is an email thread interchange that occured yesterday morning between Mama Phez and me [with the From & To fields modified slightly] :

------------------------------------------------

From: Troy Boy
Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 9:53 AM
To: Mama Phez
Subject: RE: I love you too!

What can I say? Loving you is one of the easiest things for me to do. Right there next to breathing, and just as important.


------------------------------------------------

From: Mama Phez
Sent: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 9:48 AM
To: Troy Boy
Subject: I love you too!

Thank you sweety. We’ve been married 15 years! I’m not supposed to find love notes in my lunch anymore!! - Not that I’m complaining; it put a big smile on my face. In fact, I was grinning like an idiot in the kitchen. Everybody must have been wondering what was up with me.


------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wacky Wednesday - Picture This!

Here is the 4th edition of a new installment to my blog: Wacky Wednesday. In an effort to continue to bring you the finest of Wacky Wednesday submissions, I will scour the Internet, and any other source for that matter, looking for an odd tidbit to share with you all. And I will always cite my source, unless they swear me to anonymity. This week's entry is dedicated to Purple Passion over at Gimme Patience.


Here we go!


Making artistic, themed scrapbooks is a $2.6 billion industry in the U.S. (nearly one-fifth as large as the adult-video industry) and has a "Hall of Fame" as protective of its morals as baseball's, which has shunned gamblers and steroid-users.
According to a January Wall Street Journal report, one "superstar" scrapbooker, Kristina Contes, was recently kicked out of the hall for violating etiquette by displaying another's photo inside her scrapbook in a competition.
Contes said the oversight was inadvertent but that she is now shunned within the community for her grave offense and called "labelwhore." [Los Angeles Times, 1-12-08]


Until next time, enjoy your Wacky Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Okay, Seriously

I am working from home today and I have the t.v. on in the background. On comes an episode of Miami Vice. While I didn't officially move here until 1991, I did try living with my dad and step-mom for a year in 86. I was here folks! For the record. No one dressed like that! No one looked that!


I mean, okay, some people tried it after the show aired.



But that, like, totally isn't a picture of me with my face lopped off!


Monday, April 14, 2008

Would you like some Kibble with that?

Several days ago, I was helping Lil Phez with his nightly chore: feeding the fish when something peculiar happened. But before I go into the incident let me, to quote Desi Arnaz, ecksplang.

When feeding the fish, Lil Phez needs my help, at age 3 & 11/12, because it is large tank and it requires that he climb up on a dining room chair - something he knows not to do without permission/supervision. At his tender age, I must say that Lil Phez is very good at knowing what his boundaries are, i.e. what he should & shouldn't do, and he doesn't test those boundaries.

Which is why I was shocked several days ago when he reached into the fish food, grabbed one sole morsel of fish food and with what seemed like an executed decision, slowly opened his mouth and brought this new snack to his lips.


This is when with all of my parental skills, grabbed the wrist of the offending hand and, with love and concern in my voice that would make Dr. Spock proud, I asked ,"What in the world are you doing!" My startled toddler blinked, regained his composure, and replied, "I was going to eat it, Daddy" very matter-of-factly.

So began the lecture. I explained why he shouldn't eat the fish food. I told him that fish food is for fish. I explained that he would grow a fin if he ate it (okay, not really). And I said all of the things one should say to their child when trying to keep them from eating pet food. He said he understood and we agreed that it would never happen again. Then came last night.

I was helping him feed the fish when he repeated the slow purposeful act of trying to partake of, what is apparently the nectar of the Gods, also known as fish food. At first I went into lecture mode but quickly caught myself. "Self", I said to myself, "This didn't work last time. Try a new approach." And so this is how I handled it:

Me: Son, didn't we agree you shouldn't eat fish food?
Lil Phez: Yes.
Me: Would you like to try one piece?
(This is when Mama Phez's right eyebrow shot up so far it practically joined her bangs.)
Lil Phez: It would be okay?
Me: I wouldn't eat the stuff but you want to try it, so go ahead...one piece, just this once.
(Lil Phez takes a piece, puts it in his mouth, and begins to chew)
Me: It's pretty gross, huh?
Lil Phez: Yeah.
Me: Yucky!
Lil Phez: Yucky!
Me: Let's go brush your teeth again and get that nasty taste out of your mouth, okay?
Lil Phez: Okay, daddy.

Next week, we try the dog food.



Sunday, April 13, 2008

Misspent Youth

As a father of two, Lil' Phez & Baby Phez, I think about what they will be into as they grow up. Oh, and thanks Matt for the recent post creating appropriate Blogger names for my little ones. So as I ponder their paths to be taken, I hearken back to the path I took to get where I am today; some of which I am willing to share and some...not so much. Let's just suffice to say, that Misspent Youth is an appropriate nomenclature for my adolescence. Let's review the highlights low lights:


Favorite TV Show:

Benson








I had a crush on Katie, played by Missy Gold.


Favorite Pastime:

Commodore 64








And one my favorite games on the C64 is shown below, check out the cool graphics!








Okay, so now it's your turn! What are the deep dark secrets of your youth that you hope you can keep your lil' ones from repeating?

Friday, April 11, 2008

Friday Shuffle: The 'Look of Horror' Edition

Our littlest; fond of baths he is not.


Okay, now that we got that out of the way, take 'er away Fred!
  1. "Shooting Star", by Bad Company
  2. "Do I Have To Say The Words?", by Bryan Adams - I think we danced to this song at our wedding.
  3. "Angel", by The Iguanas - A good song. A great band. Check them out if you haven't already.
  4. "I Am The Walrus", covered by Bono & Secret Machines from the Across The Universe soundtrack
  5. "Sandman", by America
  6. "She Moves Me", by Muddy Waters
  7. "Imagine", covered by Joan Baez - Just when you thought this song couldn't be any more hippy-ish; Joanie takes it there.
  8. "Everybody's Got a Cousin in Miami", by Jimmy Buffett - This is a fun song about Cuban immigration into Miami & its culture...funny and endearing.
  9. "Every Minute, Every Hour, Every Day", by James House, from the Tin Cup soundtrack - I know that Sari knows this song!
  10. "We'll Never Have To Say Goodbye Again", by England Dan & John Ford Coley - okay, who? It's from a Singers & Songwriters complitation CD. These are the same guys that did "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight".
Okay, goodbye.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

A Meme, A Dinner & A Movie

This is a homemade meme that I put together because I was inspired by a recent episode of Top Chef. Here's the deal:

List the items of a meal you'd prepare and use a movie as your theme. Then fellow bloggers will leave comments guessing what the movie is. Okay so here's mine - and yes, if I was on Top Chef, I'd use this for the competition.

Baby Lamp Chops smothered in caramelized Vidalia onions served along with Fava beans and a glass of Chianti.

Well, which movie was the theme for this dinner?

If you want to give it a try on your blog, please leave me a comment and let me know!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Wacky Wednesday - Grody!

Here is the 3rd edition of a new installment to my blog: Wacky Wednesday. In an effort to continue to bring you the finest of Wacky Wednesday submissions, I will scour the Internet, and any other source for that matter, looking for an odd tidbit to share with you all. And I will always cite my source, unless they swear me to anonymity.

Before we start, you know how many people have to tinkle when they hear running water? Let me know if this next entry has the same effect on you. Here we go!


Irish director-playwright Paul Walker's production of "Ladies & Gents" opened for a March run in New York City 29 blocks north of Broadway in a public restroom. According to an Associated Press report, the entire play takes place among the porcelain in a bathroom in Central Park, portraying "the seedy underside of 1950s Dublin," with the audience of 25 standing beside rows of stalls, near "spiders, foul odors and puddles of questionable origin."

Walker proudly admits that he wanted to take the audience "out of their comfort zone" to create "a different energy." Actor John O'Callaghan recalled that rehearsals were especially difficult: "One man actually came in and had a pee right in front of us." [KYW-TV (Philadelphia)-AP, 3-19-08]

Until next time, enjoy your Wacky Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Tuesday's Tip for the Day! - Part Two

So while I was out getting the replacement phone, Mrs. Pheasantly spoke to our friend Matt. He told her that he had heard (here is the tip of the day, folks) if you get your phone wet, then take the back off, take out the battery, and then put the phone and battery in a container of rice and seal it. For how long, you ask? Well, we found out that the phone was working 24 hours later! Cool, huh?

Tuesday's Tip for the Day! - Part One

Is that a wet cell phone in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Last Friday I was giving son # 1 a bath when my cell phone went *kaplunk* into the bath tub. As you might guess, the phone was no longer operable. So, I gave the soggy phone and the soggy kid to the wifey, after taking the SIM card out, and hurried off to the cell phone store. I got there 2 minutes before they closed and told them I needed a new phone. They looked at my account and announced that since it had been less than the magical 2 years that I had this phone, I would have to pay the regular price, which was - drum roll please...$279! For once, I was speechless. After I recovered, I stammered out that I couldn't afford that. So the sales rep leaned in (pssst - this is where the Tuesday's Tip for Day comes in), and he told me to just go across the street to Walgreen's and buy a phone for 20 bucks. He said that most of them were compatible with my cell service and all I had to do was put in my SIM card from my old phone and I'd have the same number. So that's what I did. That's one smart guy because when I do need a new phone and need to renew a plan you better believe I will be going there!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Friday Shuffle: The Roadtrip Edition!

It's about 12:30 am Friday morning and I will be leaving with Matt and another friend in 3 and a half hours to head up to Orlando to participate as judges in the Odyssey of the Mind state competition. So let's make this a quick Shuffle Fred!

  1. "I don't Want To Miss A Thing", by Aerosmith
  2. "One Night Love Affair", by Bryan Adams
  3. "For What It's Worth", by Buffalo Springfield
  4. "Son of a Son of a Sailer", by Jimmy Buffett
  5. "I Try", by Macy Gray - Man, she can sing! Oh, and she's not bad to look at, either!
  6. "Emaline", by Ben Folds Five - I much prefer, "All You Can Eat".
  7. "Don't I Hold You", by Wheat - okay, by who? It's from the Elizabethtown soundtrack
  8. "Poetry Man", by Phoebe Snow
  9. "The Last Time", by the Stones
  10. "Say Goodbye to Little Joe", by Steve Forbert - you might be asking 'By who?' again, but if you don't know this guy, give him a listen. I think the only track off of this album, Jackrabbit Slim, to get decent radio play was "Romeo's Tune". My favorite track is "Complications".

Well, you were a bit all over with these picks, Fred, but still a good list,

Have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

And Like a Wildfire It Did Spread

So it's been a while since there has been a meme on this blog and this next one, I believe, will have been worth the wait. This meme was first brought about into "my circle" of bloggers by Seven. Holy crap, I have a circle of blogger buds! Okay, it's more like a lopsided oval, but its mine! (Oh, and while Seven isn't officially in MY circle, she is in Sari's so she's the dot in the two overlapping circles that you saw in Statistics 101.) But I undress, I mean digress! I digress. Anyway, so Hilda picked up on it over at The Geek Inside, and then Matt picked up on it over at The Mind Wobbles. And now it's my turn! Here's the deal:

Instructions:
1. Open your music library (iTunes, winamp, media player, iPod, whatever)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question below, type the song that’s playing
5. New question — press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool

Here we go:
  • opening credits: “Big Stick” by Bruce Hornsby - I do like the occasional well placed innuendo, even if it is based solely on fiction
  • waking up: "Come Pick Me Up" by Ryan Adams - I imagine I'd might need a ride.
  • first day at school: "When The Stars Go Blue" by Ryan Adams - Pardon me, I am reminding Fred, my Ipod, that by the very definition of shuffle, we shouldn't have back-to-back tracks by the same artist
  • falling in love: “Shut Up” by - Direct and straight to the point, I suppose
  • breaking up: “Joking” by Indigo Girls - Okay, so like, what, I don't really hate your guts?
  • prom: “Girl From The North Country” by Johnny Cash - well I guess she'd be a better date than the boy from the south depot.
  • life’s okay: “Gamblers Blues" by Lightnin' Hopkins - or maybe life's not okay?
  • mental breakdown: “Live With Lonesome” by Little Big Town - yep, that qualifies as a reason
  • driving: “Science Fiction Double Feature” by Original Broadway Cast of Rocky Horror Picture Show
  • flashback: “Crazy Love” by Poco - Flashing back to Buffalo Springfield
  • getting back together: “30,000 Pounds of Bananas” by Harry Chapin - There is no getting back together for the main character of this 10 minute story-song...just lots of separation and pasty fruit!
  • wedding: “Fantasy Girl” by .38 Special - I married my fantasy girl!
  • birth of child: "Endless Love” by Lionel Richie - Amen! Okay, in a different context, but an endless love, nonetheless
  • final battle: “Middle of the Night” by Jimmy Buffett
  • death scene: “Ventura Highway” by America - metaphorically speaking, I guess it could work. If I saw "Alligator lizards in the air", I would certainly hope I was dead
  • end credits: “Walk Away Renee" by Vonda Shepard - damn, if only my name was Renee
Cool, huh?! Now it's your turn, if ya wanna and you know you wanna! Leave a comment for please once you've done the deed over at your blog.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken

So, the results are in and Ramiele is gone. But the true highlight of tonight's results show, for us, was Dolly singin' her song "Jesus and Gravity".

When she sang the part, "Something's lifting me up!", Mrs. Pheasantly retorted, "Well, yeah! Just look at her body." Yes fellow bloggers, something is definitely holding her up. It's called... plastic surgery."

Funny lines to be in Dolly song.

Ouch!

It's a good thing that one does not have to speak in order to blog; otherwise, I'd be S.O.L.! I am sitting here at the computer with a wad of gauze in my mouth. I am sitting here at the computer occasionally tasting the slightest hint of blood. I am sitting here at the computer wondering what I will be able eat for dinner. I am sitting here at the computer less of a person than I was an hour and a half ago. I am sitting here at the computer with one less Wisdom tooth, or as it is technically called, one less mandibular third molar - isn't Wikipedia wonderful?
It came out surprisingly easy. I had the 2 lower wisdom teeth removed a few years ago and it sucked more than a little bit. During that earlier procedure, one of them broke while the dentist was removing it. This time I was more fortunate. Sneaky Dr. Krugman began, after injecting the local anesthetic by saying "Okay, Troy. I am going to start out by just testing the tooth." Then he put what looked like a screw driver in my mouth and started pushing on the unwanted bastard of a tooth. Then he pushed a little harder - still "testing", mind you. Then he said, "Okay, Troy...it's almost out." He switched to what looked like a pair of pliers, and he pulled once, twice, and *pop* - out came the tooth!

In 19 minutes, I get to take out the gauze. I am debating whether or not to update this post with a photo. Do y'all think I should?
Image from Wikipedia

Wacky Wednesday - Sell It!

Here is the 2nd edition of a new installment to my blog: Wacky Wednesday. In an effort to continue to bring you the finest of Wacky Wendesday submissions, I will scour the Internet, and any other source for that matter, looking for an odd tidbit to share with you all. And I will always cite my source, unless they swear me to anonymity. This weeks installment is actually comprised of two submissions. Wacky, huh?!


Dance Bear Bare Naked

When Johnny Diablo's year-old vegan restaurant failed to catch on in Portland, Ore., last year, he converted the space into Casa Diablo's Gentlemen's Club, which is what he believes is the world's only vegan strip club. He has no rule against meat-eating dancers, he told Willamette Week newspaper in February, but won't permit leather, fur, silk or wool outfits on stage (no "murder victims" in the club, he said). [Willamette Week, 2-6-08]


Like Puttin' Lipstick on a Pig Cat Butt

Cosmetics from the American company Blue Q, under the "Lookin' Good for Jesus" brand urging users to "Get Tight with Christ," were pulled from stores in Singapore in February due to complaints, but Blue Q said it's not abandoning that line of hand and body creams, lip balm, breath spray and bubble bath. (Of course, Blue Q also markets similar cosmetics under such brands as "Dirty Girl," "Cute as Hell," "Total Bitch" and "Virgin/Slut," as well as a car air-freshener by its brand "Cat Butt.") [Reuters, 2-12-08; http://www.blueq.com/]


Until next time, enjoy your Wacky Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

My Own Favorite Post

I wouldn't have thought of this post today but it showed up as the Google search results for someone in Warsaw who was searching for "son big feet".

To take a queue from
Dave Barry, it sounds like a good name for a rock band. But it also happens to be a very fond memory for me that brought a smile to me as I reread it, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Daddy, What's That?

Last night I served Corned Beef & Cabbage, which by the way isn't authentic Irish fare. I served it with Mookie Mookie, otherwise known as potatoes. I cooked it all in a pressure cooker and the potatoes, which had been quartered, took on the the liquid in the cooker (amber beer & chicken stock) so they became a bit darker, and very yummy.

Our three year old is not a fan of potatoes. It's odd because he'll eat almost anything. So, knowing his disdain for the potato, I didn't serve any on his plate. He saw it on my plate and didn't recognize it, so he asked me, "Daddy, what's that?". Not wanting to lose the opportunity to get him to eat potato, I said, "This baby? It's called Mookie Mookie." "Mookie, Mookie?!" he replied with a giggle. "Yep, would you like some?" "Yes, please." he said with excitement of an adventurer setting sails to chart new lands. He took a bite. "Do you like it?", I asked with some trepidation. "Yes! It tastes like potato."

He took one more bite, went back to his corned beef, which he polished off, and then announced that he was done, discarding the last bite of lonely Mookie Mookie.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Variation to My Blogging Style - Let's Talk About Recycling Body Parts

Back in February, I came across an interesting post about how most bloggers post about the life alternating issues in life rather than the light & easy going stuff. He calls it bricks & mortar respectively. I've observed that in my own blog I apparently do not fit into most bloggers. I mean, how life altering are my Friday Shuffles, right?

But yesterday's post was definitely more heady than the norm for me and today's post is just as "bricky"

To that end, today's post is about taking another life; more specifically taking the lives of those members of society that have proven they are no longer a viable part of our communities, no not Jerry Springer & Rikki Lake, I am talking about inmates who are sentenced to life in prison or are sitting on death row. I am talking about the people that are proven guilty with unmistakable proof (e.g. DNA) of heinous crimes.

Those of you that know me, you know that I am very liberal. But on this topic...not so much. I feel that these individuals should have their organs harvested and donated to those that are waiting for organs. Then we pull the plug and let the inmates go to sleep forever. I'm sorry if this sounds cruel but it makes more sense than paying to house, feed, and care for these people just waiting for them to die anyway. Also, if you had a choice to see them perish or to see innocent people in need of kidneys, livers, lungs, etc., well, it's a no brainer, is it?

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Why Do We Do It? Is It Bad That We Do It? Should A Blog Title Not Have So Many Questions?

I recently read a great post about stereotyping over at Ordinary Days and it got me to thinking. You know how when you are planning a party in the ballroom of your estate, but you get sidetracked because there is a great game of lawns darts going on in the east garden and Jeeves is asking you if he can take time off to travel back to England to visit his dying mum, all along you are getting sidetracked from planing the great gala? Well, me neither. But I do know that I have been thinking a lot lately about stereotyping and why, as humans, we do it but I never got around to posting. Well, here is to getting around to it...

To stereotype. It has a such negative connotation. Well, I am here to make the point that it's not inherently a bad practice. Yes, it can cause people to misjudge others but what is the cost of not using stereotypes?

Let's hypothesize for a moment. In this hypothetical situation, you are a female (okay, this is easier for some of you to own it than others) and you are driving down a dark lonely country road. Up ahead you see a tall figure walking along the side of the road dressed in a dark trench coat. In one hand he is carrying a long silvery object and he is using the other to hitch a ride. Do you stop to pick him up? Okay folks, the resounding hell no was quite deafening.

What if I were to tell you that this man wasn't wearing a trench coat but rather he was wearing rain gear and the silvery object in his hand was a turbine blade for his plow that had broken down several hundred yards off of the side of the road in the 40 acres of farmland that he owns on both sides of this road that you are on? And you wouldn't know any of this because you just drove on by. And quite frankly, I don't blame you because he also looked like he could have been a homicidal maniac!

As grade schoolers, we were all taught the processes of categorization and inductive reasoning. If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, well then, your science teacher will tell you, it must be a duck. Of course, it could be a platypus.

In trying to ascertain the difference between categorization & inductive reasoning versus stereotyping, I came across this interesting commentary by Steven J. Sherman of Indiana University on an article written on the subject by Robin Fox. Does it answer the question? Hell no, but it let's me know that it is being pondered by greater minds than mine.

So I ask you, is it wrong to stereotype?