This site is dedicated to my fondness for fowl. Not in any way that requires years of therapy. It's not even my favorite meat. I just think it's neat. What can I say? I am easily amused.
Plus, it may have something to do with the fact that my first and middle names said together are a homonym of poultry (Paul Troy).

Sunday, December 16, 2007

A Little Bit is Better Than Nada

Ah man! I just wrote a very funny post, if I do say so myself, and poof: it vanished. I was highlighting the whole thing to do a spell check and away it went. No, I didn't cut the text by mistake. I don't know where it went. A quick recap: I am recovering from hernia surgery, which is my very plausible excuse for not blogging more frequently. Okay, the three year old is insistently, yet pleasantly, asking for some toast. Yes, it's evening, odd but I am grateful he isn't asking for something sugary.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Friday Shuffle...Shuffle On Through Unadulterated Honesty

Yesterday Mrs. Pheasant and I had the opportunity to experience unadulterated honesty only in the way that can be provided by a preschooler. I had just gotten home...

(Back story - a few months ago, our son had been playing rough with the other kids and climbing the fence in the play yard. We've set up consequences with him since then. First Offense equals a warning. Second Offense in the same week equals no puzzles for the weekend. We've only had to be puzzle-less for one weekend)

Wife: Sweety, were you a good boy today?
Our Three Year Old: Mommy, I don't want to tell you.
Wife: What happened?
Me: Baby, did you push today?
Our Three Year Old: No, daddy.
Me: Did you hit today?
Our Three Year Old: No, daddy.
Me: Did you scratch today?
Our Three Year Old: No, daddy.
Me: Did you climb the fence today?
Our Three Year Old: Yes.

At which point, my wife and I thanked him for telling us and issued his warning. Life is good. Man, what will we do when our boys are teenagers?

Have a great weekend everyone! Take it away, Fred!

Dancing Queen by ABBA - a good song to start the weekend with. Fun.

Flower by Liz Phair - another good song to start the weekend with, if the wife & I had the energy and the opportunity for this kind of fun.
Note: if curiosity makes you look up the lyrics to this song, you will most likely want to make sure the kiddies aren't reading over your shoulder.

Blossom by James Taylor - a bit of a weaker song, but James could sing the phone book and it would still be palatable.

This Train by The Indigo Girls - a revision that was done very nicely.

Save a Prayer by Duran Duran - a nice throw back to the 80's.

Sending The Old Man Home by Jimmy Buffet - I think I'll request this song to be played at my funeral.

Every Woman In The World by Air Supply. Okay, who else was just taken back to a memory of their high school dance with all the boys standing against a wall and the girls against the other with no one dancing?

Show Me The Way by Styx. A great road song...particular when one is lost.

The Call of The Ktulu by Metalica - Ouch. To think that I once listened to this without the aide of Ibuprofen.

The Ocean by Led Zeppelin - rock on! Where is that damn Aleve?

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Back With a Roar!

So Hilda over at The Mind Wobbles has honored me with a blogging first, by the way. You're noticing those pretty words that are neatly underlined, aren't ya? Another first for the Poultry Boy. That's right; I finally figured out to have links in my postings - thanks to Hilda and TraceyMichelle - who you're not suppose to refer to as Ray, by the way.

So it is about here in this posting that you'd see the image for the award. Except I can't seem to paste it into the post. So, I reckon y'all could go over here to see it. Neat, huh - hence the reference to the roar.

[It's Hilda here, I'm going to insert the graphic for Troy, 'cause I'm nice that way]

As posted on Hilda's Blog, here's the scoop:

Those people given this award to are encouraged to post it on their own blogs; list three things they believe are necessary for good, powerful writing; and then pass the award on to the five blogs they want to honor, who in turn pass it on to five others, etc., etc. Let's send a roar through the blogsphere! The image at the top right can be [apparently] copied and pasted onto other blogs. Also, a small size of the award for sidebars can be found over at the writing circle site.

So, what three things do I think are necessary for good, powerful writing?

1) Sincerity. I know an unpublished author who is trying to get me to read his book and I just can't do it. The words on the paper don't ring true to me. I can't get into it. Gosh, I hope my dad doesn't read my blog.

2) Be succinct and to the point. Life is too short to read words that don't have meaning.

3) Know what you're talking about either from personal experience or by doing research.

Now the difficult part...picking five Bloggers to receive this award.

1) Matt at The Scribbler's Nook - a very close friend and fellow blogger.

2) TraceyMichelle at Tracy Michelle Unplugged - what this woman can do with a box of rice and a chicken thigh. Frugal, full of faith and funny. Now there's a combination.

3) Purple Passion at Gimme Patience - A fellow foodie and a friend of a friend who is fastly becoming a friend of a Troy - no middle friend needed, but we'll keep her in the loop none the less.

4) Sari at The Geek Inside -
a very funny gal who gets freaked out by the rain. For that alone, she deserves an award, or a sedative.

5) UmmFarouq at Southern Muslimah. A fellow blogger who came across my blog several months ago and she shares my love for Chik-Fil-A. She's definitely a keeper!

I hope you enjoy these blogs as much as I do! Thanks Miss Hilda!

Friday, November 9, 2007

The Friday, Whew, Oh No, Shuffle

It is here. Friday. The beginning of the weekend. Met with joy and dread.

Joy for the reason of, well, the weekend is a hiatus between work weeks for R&R, or tons of errands and honey-do's. But even if the latter is the case, it is still a nice change of pace from the 9 to 5 drudgery.

Mother will be arriving tomorrow morning to stay with us for two weeks. Sure, I love my mom and as she getting is older, it's important that she spend time with our children, yada, yada, yada. But two weeks for my mom and I to be under one roof, well, God help Mrs. Pheasantly Fascinating.

So whether you are anticipating joy or dread, or a familial hybrid of both, have a great weekend, extended for most of us, and enjoy this Friday Shuffle! Take it away Fred. And don't disappoint!

"Uncle John's Cabin", by Grateful Dead
Maybe mom could stay there?

"Blue Jay Way", covered by The Secret Machines on "Across The Universe"
A Beatles tune of which I know not.

"Alone At the Drive In" by Jim Jacobs & Watten Casey from "Grease" soundtrack.
Okay, this is how I know that Mrs. Pheasantly Fascinating has been spending time with Fred!

"Where Are You Boy" by Patty Loveless as featured on the soundtrack for "Tin Cup"
Don't know the movie? Rent it. It's fun...even if you don't care about Kevin Costner, Cheech Marin, or the game of golf.

"Back On the Chain Gang", by The Pretenders

"Spirits In The Material World", by the Police

"El Chirinquito", off of a compilation CD called "The Best of Cuba". Not sure who the artist is.
I also have this song on a few other CD's.

"Crash & Burn" by Blues Traveler

"Games Without Frontiers", by Peter Gabriel
Funny...I was talking to Hilda about this song yesterday. It's one of my favorites.

"Give Me Novocaine", by Green Day
Did I mention my mom was coming?

Peace Out!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Last Weekend

Okay, so I know it's a bit late in the week to be posting about weekend events, but here it is none the less.

On Friday, I had posted a list of tasks for the weekend over at TracyMichelleUnplugged. I am happy to report that I completed all tasks...and did it in one day...Sunday. Well, there was only one day left after we had decided on Saturday to embark on a journey like never before.

A good friend of ours called on Saturday to ask if I still wanted to go with them to the brand new Ikea store an hour and a half away. That may sound like a far distance but she was also meeting another friend who was travelling over two hours...yes, just to go furniture shopping.

They had been planning this, along with their significant others (and me to a lesser degree) for weeks but I had forgotten all about it. Which meant also forgetting to tell Mrs. Pheasantly Fascinating. The plan was for me to go with them and take the 3 year old along with and the wifey would stay home with the newbie; being less than 2 months old, the pediatrician doesn't want us taking him into crowded stores. Well I shared the plan with the wifey and she said she wanted to come along even if it meant staying in the car for an hour with the baby.

So off we went. We headed up the turnpike following our friends in their car. I am as green as the next tree hugger but with 4 adults and two car seats, using 2 cars was our only option. Not knowing exactly where the Ikea was, I followed closely behind. After traversing through two counties, we make a right turn and that when I saw it on the left side of the road. A huge mecca to all those that yearn decent furniture at very, very low prices. That's also when I saw the entire left lane of the street backed up for a quarter mile trying to get into the parking lot. That's also when I saw the temporary road sign flashing that there was overflow parking available at the stadium (two miles) up the road.

As we're following our friends to the stadium, wifey reminds me that the baby can't really be in throngs of people and that she'll just sit in the car two miles away from the store. So, weighing my options carefully, I call our friends cell to tell them that we are heading back to the store to try to find a parking spot. Forty-five minutes later we have completed one and a half parking- attendent-guided loops around the store when our friends call to say they're in the store. That's when I threw caution to the wind, disobeyed one of 30 some-odd parking attendents and turned down a parking row to find a spot waiting for me...kind of begs the question what use were the parking attendants. Normally I would've been ruffled by now...but I was so darn happy to have found a spot, the kids were behaving very good (per their norm, knock on wood), and the wifey was looking especially radiant. So I grab the three year old and head inside and met up with the gang.

Damned if those Swedes don't know how to lay out a furniture store. It was really neat inside. After an hour, we stopped for lunch in the Ikea Restaurant. Okay, while I would not call a walk-up counter where you order one of only 6 items a restaurant, I must say that the food was quite tasty and very cheap. The lil' one ordered the kids meal of Swedish Meatballs (really) and I order a veggie wrap for me and for the wifey. I also got her bottled water. 5 bucks and change. I scarfed down the wrap and went out to make the swap with the wifey so she could experience furniture Nirvana. I spent the next hour and a half in the airconditioned car reclined with the little one on my chest listening to a podcast of This American Life. We made it home by 5. Will we ever go back? Heck ya! We saw lots of neat furniture at very low prices...we're just going to wait a few months.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Who Is Fred?

Many have asked, and by many I mean one reader, why did I name my Ipod Fred? Fred is many people to me. Primarily though, Fred is Uncle Fred. Uncle Fred was my wife's favorite uncle. He was always there for her when she was growing up and she has many fond memories of him. Fortunately for me, I got the chance to get to know him before he passed and would agree...he was pretty cool. Though when he was still around I didn't always show him the respect he deserved and for that I am sorry. However through that I learned the importance of respecting others, whether you relate to them or not. So that is where my fondness for Fred came from. Now everyone is Fred. People who cut me off in traffic are called Fred. Fast food workers who get my order mixed up are called Fred. Even the higher power is sometimes affectionately called Fred. So too, our family Ipod is hence forth known as Fred.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Wussup With That!?

So I am done with my Shuffle and I checking out some of my friends blogs ( nice anniversary pic, Hilda) when Fred decides to play "Turn Me On" by Norah Jones followed by "Forever Man" by Clapton. Those are some good tunes. Where were those tunes during the shuffle, hmmm?

Fred is officially on notice.

Hello To My Adoring Fans!

Yes, it is I. I am back. It has indeed been a while. I was going to use having a newborn at home as an excuse for not having the time to blog but Sari over at the Geek Inside pretty much shot that all to heck. So as a welcome back salute to myself, I shall present you all with a nifty Friday Shuffle!

And there was much rejoicing...yay.

Bonus points to whomever can be the first to site the above quote! Sorry, Matt, you're exempt.

"Up On The Roof", by James Taylor. A pretty song about finding a good place to be...nice.

"Maggie's Farm"
, by Bob Dylan. A lesser known Dylan tune, yes?

"Power of Two"
, by the Indigo Girls with a public radio style intro. Hey, the power of two...that's all it takes to bring a little baby into the world!

"My Special Someone"
, by Neil Diamond. I like this guy's more popular tunes and this ain't one of them!

"All She Wants Is"
, by Duran Duran. Finishing that sentence for wife's benefit...a good night sleep!

"You Can't Always Get What You Want"
, by the Stones. Okay, fellow parents, or even Aunts & Uncles, how many of you have found yourselves singing this as a reply to a request made by a little one? I know I have!

"Who'll Stop The Rain"
, by Clearwater Credence Revival. Amen! And the wind while they're at it, thank you very much.

"Delirious", by Prince.

"Crazy", by Aerosmith

"Underground", by Ben Folds Five

Well a bit of a disappointing shuffle IMO. Not very nifty, indeed. I hope Fred does better next week. Fred. That's what I named our Ipod.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

He's Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere...

Hi all, this is Hilda, making a guest appearance.

Troy is being lazy and whining: "I'm tired I have a new baby in the house" and "I have soooo much work". Well, I think it's time everyone met Son2 - Troy and his beautiful wife's new baby. You will see Son1 in some of the pictures as well.

So here we go...

Monday, October 8, 2007


"You're so lucky that your child is so well behaved in the store."

"Wow, your child is so attentive when you talk to him. You're blessed."


Okay, so the above comments are referring to a toddler and not a teenager. Had it been a teenager to which they were referring, I'd say that the comments might have some merit. But it wasn't and they don't! Geesh!

My wife's family was over this weekend for a birthday party and her sister-in-law made one of the above comments (# 2 to be exact). And in the past, both my wife and I have been the recipient of comment # 1. Argh!

Yes, I did state it was "her sister-in-law". While I realize that it is not the fault of my wife that the woman married her brother, it is HER brother that she married. I take no ownership in the bizarreness that is that woman. But that's for a different posting.

If you couldn't tell it by now, these comments really tick me off. Yes, our 3 year old is very well behaved (most of the time) but luck has nothing to do with it. Having "good kids" does not happen by chance. It takes work, it takes the occasional slip-up, and then it takes more work.

And another child listens to us when we speak to him for two reasons:
1) It is expected that he do so.
2) We listen to him when he talks to us.

Respect begets respect.

Now I realize that all kids are born with a certain disposition and some kids are easier to "train" into positive behavior than others, but c'mon people! It ain't luck and the powers that be did not will it to happen. And when my son does act out, we act swiftly. And more importantly, we act consistently.

Okay, I'll get of my soapbox now.

I Can Now Say…

I have performed on stage at the Improv! Yes, it’s true. However, no, I wasn’t doing stand-up. This past Saturday, I competed at the Division E Toastmasters Evaluation Contest.

First, I do believe a bit of a back-story is in order...

In a previous post, I provided the contents of a speech that I gave at my Toastmasters’ club Humorous Speech contest. I had also won the Evaluation Contest, which is where the contestants all listen to the same speech. Then they prepare their notes for five minutes and leave the room. Then, one-by-one, each contestant is called back into the room, given their notes, and they deliver a 2 to 3 minute evaluation. Winning both events meant I was to compete at the Area contest, where the winners from 5 or 6 clubs will compete. Our Area Contest was last Wednesday. I won the Evaluation Contest and came in 2nd with my Phoenix Speech for the Humorous Speech contest. So, this past Saturday I competed in the Division Contest, which consists of 7 area winners. The audience consisted of about 100 Toastmasters and guests. So how did I do?

Technically, I tied for 2nd place. The rules state that there are to be no ties, so a secret tie-breaking judge cast their ballot putting me into 3rd place. I’m not bothered by coming in 3rd place. Especially when you consider that it was third out of all the contestants that had competed and lost in the all the area and club contests prior. Not too shabby! And the best part, it was a great experience. When public speaking is a passion, one is never sorry for the chance to appear on stage, even if they don’t come in first.

Friday, October 5, 2007

With minutes to spare

It's time to leave work and go get my son, soon to be referred to as son number one, from daycare. But having not blogged since Tuesday, my obligatory responsibilities to blog are pulling at me, or is that Hilda?

With work being crazy, still; the wife being lovelier than ever; number one son being awesomer than ever (and yes, we're making up words here) I am feeling very blessed. So with happy thoughts extended out to you, please enjoy this Friday Shuffle.

1. "Bamboleo" by Gypsy Kings
Okay so I don't have the physical energy to get into this song right now, but in my head I am tripping the light fantastic. Or am I just tripping over the lights fantastically?

2. "The Way You Look Tonight" by Tony Bennett
This song would get me so smacked....and what, I looked like dog poo last night?

3. "What Would You Say" by Dave Mathews Band
Way to rock it out, harmonica and all.

4. "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You" by Led Zeppelin
This song was one of my favorites in high school and for no particular reason and the memories are flooding back.

5. "Obladi Oblada" by the Beattles
Can we say whipped?

6. "She's In Love With The Boy", by Trisha Yearwood

7. "Looking Out My Door", by CCR
Acid anyone?

8. "Cry! Cry! Cry", by Johnny Cash
Sing it Johnny!

9. "Elvis Presley Blues", by Gillian Welch

10. "It Don't Mean A Thing", by Ella Fitzgerald
Finishing my week by finishing my shuffle with a classic. Now, daz whut I'm talkin' 'bout.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Always Time for T.V.

Work has been hectic beyond description. At home, Mrs. Pheasantly Fascinating is in her "nesting phase" what with number two being only two weeks away. And me? I am staying abreast of all my tv shows. How terrible is that? Although last night I did manage to spray down the oven with Oven-Off. And in my own defense: most nights for the last week have been spent touching up the bathroom that we just spent money to have redone. Such is life!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Friday Shuffle and Potty Paradise!

Yep, that's right. I said Potty Paradise. Does that mean I have a potty mouth, I wonder? In any event, we are happy at the Pheasantly Fascinating household because our little one is no longer in diapers! Well, unless he is napping or sleeping. It has been two days and we've only had one accident. It happened yesterday evening just before bedtime and he was playing in his room with one of our cats. I guess he got overly excited. The cat was none too pleased.

And now for the Friday Shuffle:

1. "War" by, well pick one...Bob Marley, Earth, Wind, & Fire; Edwin Star
I belive my shuffle's version is by Mr Starr; it just says Various Artists.
"War! Hu! Yeah! Was is it good for?" A relevant question if ever I did hear one. C'mon home troops!

2. "Is This Love?" by Bob Marley and the Wailers
(Again, I had to research this one. Shame on my shuffle!")

3. "The Night They Drove Old Dixie About" by Joan Baez
Okay, what exactly is this song about?

4. "Francisco Guayabal" by Benny More
Damn if my shuffle doesn't have a thing for Senior More. I ain't complainin'!

5. "Still Crazy After All This Years" by Paul Simon
The live version. I wish he would've told the audience to hush.

6. "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad" by Meat Loaf
So much soul. Great song!

7. "Litty Bitty" by Alan Jackson

8. "Coward of the County" by Kenny Rogers
"But you coulda heard a pin drop when Tommy stopped and locked the door."

9. "Cry No More" Buju Banton

10. "Dust In The Wind" by Kansas

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Another Meme from "The Mind Wobbles"

I got this from my friend at The Mind Wobbles - respond to each with "I would", "I wouldn't" or "I have".

Touch a snake - I have
Ride in a hot-air balloon - I would
Sky dive - I have
Scuba dive - I havet
Sing in front of a huge audience - I have (poor souls they were!)
Sit in the front of a roller coaster - I have
Walk through a graveyard alone at night - I would
Join a space mission - I would
Call off a wedding - I would
Walk naked through a crowded city - How much would you pay me not to?
Disarm a bomb - I wouldn't
Clean the outside windows on a skyscraper - I wouldn't
Go on tour with a rock band - I wouldn't
Go skinny dipping in mixed company - I have
Heckle a comedian at a comedy club - How much liquor is involved?
Eat something really gross - I wouldn't

Reflection - It's not just for pools anymore!

With my brief hiatus from bloggerland coming to an end (I hope), I submit for your perusal the following water cooler discussion points. Please weigh in on one or both.

You Break it, You Pay for it
Are we always accountable for our own actions? Yesterday I was the lucky recipient of a piece of mail from the State of Arizona...a photo radar traffic summons! Sound the trumpets! I did some research and found that since I was not "served" (physically given the summons by an officer or a process server), I can ignore the ticket. In discussing this at the office, a friend, coworker, and fellow blogger (all the same person) was very direct about it. She asked if I was speeding. I said yes. She said to pay the ticket. So, do I pay it, or do I ignore it?

Freedom of Speech
You are in a public area with your young child or children. Or, you're by yourself for that matter. Someone is using a plethora of explicatives. You ask them not to (for whatever reason, or possibly, do you don't give them a reason). They refuse saying that 1) it's a free country and 2) they have a right to freedom of speech. Are they right, or can you haul off and sock them in the mouth; woops I meant do you have the right to be upset about it, but short of making a citizen's arrest, that's about it?

Friday, September 21, 2007

Friday Shuffle, shuffle on into the bathroom!

Last night was not good night in the Pheasantly Fascinating household. Our 3 year old was sick. He lost his dinner around 2 am, again at 6 am, and then at 8 am he couldn't keep down the juice he was drinking. Poor guy. So Mrs. Pheasantly Fascinating took him to his pediatrician this morning. They said it was probably some tummy bug and it will run it's own course.

The thing is that in three years this is the first time he has had to toss his cookies, not counting spit ups as an infant. He was scared. And he didn't get the concept of trying to make it to the bathroom.

That's okay though because it gives us something to strive for the next time he gets sick.

So, now that I have you thinking about icky sicky stuff, let us commence with our Friday Shuffle.

"Bat Out of Hell"(live) by Meatloaf. Really, the first tune is by a guy named something you probably don't want to associate with my above story.

"Congratulations" by Paul Simon. One of his wimpier songs, but hey, it's still Paul.


Garth Brooks, "Unanswered Prayers", with 241 songs in this playlist and the shuffling Gods subject me to this song on two back to back shuffles.

skip (maybe I should cut back on my Paul Simon tracks in this playlist - there are 50.

Earth Wind & Fire, "After The Love Has Gone"

The Iguanas, "Angel"

Phil Collins, "Take a Look at Me Now"


Steve Miller Band, "Horse and Rider"

Beny More, "Como Fue" and I have it on good authority that this is an "authentic version".

Buju Banton, "Our Father in Zion" and that, folks, is almost all of the lyrics in the 27 second song.

The Pleb, "One for Senegal"

A bit of a dissapointing shuffle, I do think.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Wanna Hear A Story?

This has been the question of the day for the last two days around our house. It is posed by our 3 year old and the answer really doesn't matter, because a story will be told. Then we hear the undeniable classic opening of all great literature..."Once upon a time". Though it sounds more like, "Unce upon a tuh-yme". Then we hear about a witch. There is some sort of conflict with him, playing the part of the main victim-cum-hero of the story, the witch, and one of his favorite characters who come to his aid, and in addition, sometimes fruit is involved. Then just as the story is getting juicy, well as juicy as it could get coming from a three year old, he says, "The end".

He told me 11 stories on the way to school this morning, a twenty minute drive, and ten of them had a witch as the nemesis. The eleventh story started out with Once upon a time but before he got to the part about the witch, which is the second sentence, he announced he was hungry. I imagine that the story will pick back up when I get him from preschool this afternoon. And I am waiting with baited breath, really.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Oh, my Gawd

Today, I experienced Nirvana. First I must state for the record that I am a hard core Java fan. I don't mean the computer language. I like espresso (known in Miami as Cuban coffee), cafe au lait (again, Miamians call it Cafe con leche), American coffee (also known down here as dark water) name it, I drink it. I do not waste time on tea. Sweet tea, yes, but that is in a different category. I am refering to hot tea, which I consider a poor excuse for a beverage...that is, until today.

I am a changed man. Today, a coworker turned me onto a tea called "Ceylon" which is from the Ceylon island next to India. If you haven't tried this stuff, and you're a coffee drinker, you must do so now. Enjoy!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Friday Shuffle...err, on Tuesday

Okay, so Friday and Monday were so hectic at work, this is the first chance I am getting to blog. You're probably asking, "Hey Troy, why not blog on the weekend?" And give up the chance to blog on company time? I think not. Anyway, Hilda, over at The Mind Wobbles, has gotten me addicted to the stuff and now I miss it when I don't blog. So here is the "Friday Shuffle", a few days late.

The Beattles, "Yesterday" - Okay, so NOT the song for me. I certainly don't long for yesterday. It was a crazy day.

Beny More (with an accent over the 'e'), "Bonito y Sabroso 2003 Club" - Great stuff! It has a scratchy LP sound and the music is feel good toe tapping spanish music!

Skip (New rule. I am skipping when the shuffle picks the same artist in the Friday Shuffle.)

Johnny Cash, "I walk the Line" - Guys, it's Johnny, what else can I say?

Paul Simon, "Kodachrome" - Damn if my shuffle doesn't know good music! It's picked Paul (at least once) for every Friday Shuffle running.

The Iguanas, "Boom, Boom, Boom" - Certainly not their best track but if you like Tex-Mex Rock, give these guys a try.



Dixie Chicks, "Not Ready to Make Nice" - Good for them.

Garth Brooks, "Unaswered Prayers" - This song is so cheesey, ya gotta like it...or you could go into convulsions.

Major Bob & the Top Brass Band, "You Can Leave Your Hat On" - Okay, is "hat" code for something here?


Bob Marley, "No Woman, No Cry"


BeeGees, "Staying Alive" - This song reminds me of "Airplane" everytime I hear it. Now, that was a GREAT movie! "What's your vector, Victor?"; "She's really sick, we're going to have to take her to a hospital!", "A hospital, what is it? It's a big white building with sick people, but that's not important now."; "Surely, you must be joking!", "I'm not joking and don't call me Shirley!"

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

That's Funny (Religous Beliefs Aside)

I was reading a post at the Geek Inside and was reminded of a funny bumper sticker that I saw a few years ago. I was walking through a parking lot and as I approached the rear of a parked car, I read its bumber sticker: "Jesus is my copilot". As I walked along side the car and past it, I couldn't help but notice that the right front section of the car (that would be the front passenger's side) was entirely smashed in.

It was one of the best laughs I had in a long time.

But who knows, maybe they got the bumper sticker after the accident?

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Manic Monday - Oh, Okay, Fine...Manic Tuesday

Today isn't that manic of a day for me, but I was recently reminded of the glorious era of the 80's and the title came to me like a member's only jacket comes to the kid wearing parachute pants. Uh, thanks Sari. I am so stuck in an 80's thing right now. So, best and worst of the 80's. This is NOT a meme. Just a fun 80's post. Feel fun to weigh in if you wish either here or on your own blog.
Note: It'd be totally rad if you let me know that you were continuing the post on your blog.

Worst 80's Video:
"Here I Go Again" by WhiteSnake. I have nothing against the song but I remember thinking that a 3 minute of a half naked girl sprawled over the top of a sports car was just plain dumb. And yes I was "normal" teen aged boy.

Best 80's Video:
"I Love To Be Sedated" by the Ramones. I know most folks would say "Thriller" by Michael 'Noseless' Jackson but that seems to obvious of a choice.

Worst 80's Fad Idea:
Hair. Big Hair. Guys with short ponytails. Crimped hair. All of it. We were a nation obsessed with hair fads. I am not naming this as a bad fad as a bitter bald man. Though I do miss my mullet.

Best 80's Fad Idea:
Pegged jeans. I also would wear a primary colored undershirt with a white short sleeved button shirt that was striped with the same color of the undershirt. I would then peg the shirt sleeves so and roll it so the under shirt would create a colorful band at the end of each sleeve. Complete with my deck shoes with no socks. And the spiked mullet, can't forget the mullet. Dude, I was cool.

Worst 80's TV Show:
Valerie. My God, what was the point?!

Best 80's TV Show:
"Doogie Howser". And in the 90's it was the "The Wonder Years". Those guys were my role models. Okay so, in the case of Kevin Arnold, my sights were not that lofty.

Okay, that's all I have for now. Other than to say that Mmmmmmmmax Headroom lives forever!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Yes, the Bathroom Saga Continues...

Okay, so when I wrote on Friday that one of the bathrooms was complete, well, that wasn't entirely true. The tiled vanity top needed trim work and the light fixture wasn't mounted flush to the wall. So the guy who took 2 and a half weeks to complete a job that should've taken 3 or 4 days came back on Sunday to finish up. Oh, the horror. Oh, the inhumanity.

Folks, the man was in my house for only twenty minutes when he managed to short out the light fixture whilst tripping the breaker and in a separate stupendous action he broke one of the sconces. The bonus round points was the fact that I was the lucky duck holding the light fixture when the wires he had improperly attached with a wire nut came loose and touched the metal housing. If you haven't experienced an electrical short it is a loud pop sound and a spark that makes you appreciate life. Well, your own life anyways. Can you say "Strong bladder control is a wonderful thing"? I knew that you could.

Jumpin' Jehosafats if there isn't someone looking out for me. Of course, that someone could've ensured I had steered clear of the guy in the first place, but such is life.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Friday Shuffle and Bathroom Troubles

This Friday Shuffle is dedicated to my bathroom troubles. Not troubles using the bathroom, mind you. But problems getting my bathrooms redone. We had leaks in both and needed new walls and thusly new tiles. One is complete and the guy took 4444444444444444444-ever! For the next one, we have selected someone else completely randomly. The first guy was recommended and we see how well that turned out. Wish us luck! And enough about my porcelain's the shuffle...enjoy!

Earth, Wind & Fire, "Kiss and Say Goodbye" Can we say a good extramarital affair gone bad? I so can't relate to this song but it sounds pretty enough.

Gillian Welch, "Barroom Girls" Such poetic lyrics! The first two lines are "Oh the night came undone like a party dress. And fell at her feet in a beautiful mess." Nice wrting.

Johnny Cash, "A Boy Named Sue" Now, there's a fun song.

Eric Clapton, "Lay Down Sally"

Louie Armstrong, "What a Wonderful World" What a wonderful song!

Paul Simon, "You can call me Al" And you can call my shuffler partial to Gillian and Paul. Two weeks running.

Buena Vista Social Club, "Viente Anos" Yes my Spanish is very rough, at best, but I still like my Latin music from time to time.

Norah Jones, "Humble Me" Man, her voice is like a warm enveloping blanket on a cold and rainy day.

Dixie Chicks, "Landslide" I love the original version of this song by FWM and must say that this version does it considerable justice. Well done!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

A lesson in Spanish

I was just going down memory lane and reviewing past jobs before I began working for my current employer, for whom I've worked for thirteen years. Considering the number of jobs I held prior to this one, it was more like a memory super highway. Anyway, I had this one job in college where I worked at a photo lab for a large drugstore chain. One of my tasks was to call customers when their pictures were ready.

I live in a culturally diverse community (aka Miami, it's only 30 miles from the U.S.) and one of the customers I called didn't speak any English. She answered the phone saying, "Oygo". Not knowing the correct spelling, I am spelling it phonetically. At a loss for words, well a loss for words in Spanish, I tried my best to recall the little I knew and I said "Pierdete". I then when to get a spanish speaking coworker who went to the phone only to discover the lady had hung up. He asked me what I had said and I told him that I had asked her to wait a minute in Spanish. "Ang how deed jew say et?", my colleague asked. So I told him: "Pierdete".

When he finished laughing he explained to me that I had meant to say "esperate", which when pronounced has the r come out like a soft d and the s gets swallowed a bit: "ehpeda-te". It turns out that piederte, which sounds a lot like "esperate" to a non-Spanish speaking native, means "get lost".

So she did!

I wasn't allowed to call customers anymore...for the remainder of my career with that employer, which was about two more weeks.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Stolen, but Fun

It's fun. It's stolen. It is from Blah, Blah, Blog, via Purple Passion. Click on the image (avatar) to play along. Reply here if you do, please.

Treasure Rendering Orgasms and Yeses
Get Your Sexy Name

Little Guy's First Museum Trip!

On Monday, Labor Day, we took our three year old to the museum. He had a blast! He particular liked the expression of the cubism movement.

You think I'm joking. I'm not. I'm not being entirely direct either.

The museum we went to was the Miami Children's Museum. And the cubism movement consisted of shipping crates attached to a pulley system that kids could use to raise the crates and move them from point A to point B. The premise was that the kids were dock workers, complete with hard hats, loading supplies onto a Carnival cruise ship.

There was also a Publix SuperMarket display that allowed kids to shop in a mock grocery store.

Can I offer anyone some product placement on a grand scale?

In total there were 6 displays. The other four were: Rescue related exhibits, an ER room, a bank, and a build-a-bear exhibit.

Our son had fun. My wife got a bit light headed from low blood sugar - she has gestational diabetes and we didn't make the proper food plans for her being there so long. And me? Well for once I was happy when my son announced he wanted to go home to watch Barney!

Friday, August 31, 2007

Watercooler Debate & Friday Shuffle

At work today, we had a stellar water cooler debate. Okay so it wasn't really at a water cooler, or water fountain, or bubbler, if you prefer. It took place in the middle of our poorly cubiculed office. I ask that you all chime in.

Chicken Wings: White Meat or Dark Meat?

I of course, know the answer, as does Hilda who was part of the hilarity. But I will defer answering, thus giving all of you a chance to answer; rightly or wrongly, as the case may be.

Let it be known, I was shocked that the responses in the office were about 50/50 and each side held to their beliefs as tightly as a naked butt cheek sticks to a leather carseat in Phoenix*.
*A little shout out to Sari at The Geek Inside

In the mean time, here is my Friday Shuffle:
(This idea is courtesy of Hilda at The Mind Wobbles who turned me on to 'Friday Shuffle')
Marvin Gaye, "What's Going On"
Willie Nelson, "Mama Don't Let Your Boys Grow Up To Be Cowboys"
Paul Simon, "Mrs. Robinson"
Gillian Welch, "Elvis Presley Blues"
Alan Jackson, "Itty Bitty"
Soggy Bottom Boys, "In The Jailhouse Now"
Queen, "We Are The Champions"
Beattles, "Yesterday"
Tony Bennett, "The Way You Look Tonight"
Beres Hammond "My Woman Now"

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Fav Foods

Commenting on Dixie Peaches site in a post about Big Macs, I was motivated to start a Food Meme. So here it goes! Bon Apetit!

Favorite Gourmet Item: Beef Wellington

Favorite Snack at Home: Peanuts or Oreos

Favorite Fastfood item: Currently...Checkers burger. But if I could I'd have a FatBoy's burger - we just don't have any here.

Favorite Food When Driving: Mickey D's French Fries

Favorite Food With a Beer (or other libation - please specify): Beer & chilli.

Favorite Food for Invoking Romantic Intentions: Beer & chilli. Sorry couldn't resist the imagery. Grilled meats (for me) and seafood (for her) and artichokes.

Least Favorite Food: Fish & seafood. I know its a crime that I live in Florida.

Food that Conjures a Childhood Memory: Sloppy Joes.

Food that Conjures a Sad Memory: None. That would be terrible.

Food that Conjures a Happy Memory: Wedding cake.

I've tagged Curmudgeon, Hilda, PoppyMom, Sari and Cris with this meme but anyone else is also invited to answer on their blogs. Please reply to this post if you've done it.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I Am a Wiener!

As I posted last Wednesday, I had competed at my Toastmasters club's Humorous Speech Contest using the 'Phoenix' speech. Having been to 'Phoenix', I believe that this speech is giving the town more notoriety than it may rightfully deserve, but so be it.

So, how did I do? Out of three contestants, I came in first. And I learned that it was NOT a landslide so I have some work to do before I compete at the Area Contest two weeks from tomorrow.

We actually had two contests. The humorous speech contest and the evaluation contest. In the latter, all contestants (we had 9) listen to a test speaker. We are then given 5 minutes to prepare our notes. Then all the contestants, except for the one who drew to go first, are escorted out of the room and each contestant gives a 1 to 2 minute evaluation. Once the contestant has finished they can stay in the room. I am happy to say that I placed first in that contest as well.

I guess that makes me a double-wiener.

Wish me luck for both contests!

Friday, August 24, 2007


I was blurfing (means to surf blogs, or to vomit out of a fast moving train, plane or automobile) and I came across a cartoonist's blog: Basic Instructions. Here is a link to a funny strip on his blog:

Thursday Thirteen (on Friday)

A new meme from via
For the record, this is supposed to be done on Thursdays, hence the name, but I only found out about it this morning, so you are privileged to see it today.

1. What's your favorite song?
"Little On Up" by Nils Lofgren

2. If your life were a sitcom, what would the intro song be?
"Go To Extremes" by Billy Joel

3. When you think of high school, what song comes to mind first?
"School's Out for Summer" by Alice Cooper

4. If you could ban the existence and erase all knowledge of any song, which would you choose?
"All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You" by Heart

5. You've just been granted the gift of a beautiful voice, and an amphitheater full of cheering fans - what song do you sing?
"Silent Night"

6. What was the first song you learned all the words to?
That I recall? I'd say it was "Piano Man" by Billy Joel.

7. What song surprised you when you found out what they were really singing?
"Flower" by Liz Phair.

8. What song plays when your cell phone rings?

9. What song is a must have for any road trip?
Anything by Meatloaf

10. What song would best describe your day?
"A Day in the Life" by the Beatles

11. What's your favorite "sing out loud like a goofball" song?
"Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro or "I Started a Joke" by the Bee Gees

12. What song has made you cry?
A tie between "Daniel" by Elton John and "Vincent" by Don McLean - and both for the same reasons

13. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Anything by Jimmy Buffet or Paul Simon

No tagging but if you do it, let me know!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

How cool is that?

I am sitting at work and I was looking at a photo of our son Wesley. I was reminded of something that happened a few weeks ago. It was in the morning on a weekday and I was trying to get Wesley ready for daycare. He was in his own little world, standing next to his bed and holding firmly onto the bed rail while arching his back. I was trying with great futility to get him dressed. Impatiently, I pleaded, "Wesley, would you help me please?!?!" With that, he turned around brought his face to be only inches away from me, smiled warmly and said "Okay, daddy.", while stroking my cheeks with his little hands. He gave me the help I needed. So what if we were 5 minutes late that day? He reminded me what's important. How cool is that?

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

What's in a Name?

My buddy at had this meme on her blog so I figured I'd give it a try. Here are the instructions:

Go to Google.
Click on Google images.
Type in your name and search.
Re post (w/ a link) the picture of the oddest, craziest, strangest, coolest, oldest, etc. person that shares your name. Post multiples if you find a few you like.

It isn't clear whether it's first name only, or first and last, so I did both! I'm not going to tag anyone. If you want to do it, just let me know in my comments.

First Name Results

Last Name Results

What Happens in Vegas May Stay in Vegas…but Phoenix Ain’t no Vegas!

That is the title of the speech that I will be competing with this evening at my Toastmaster's humorous speech competition. The contest is at my club, and the winner goes on to compete at the area ( 7 clubs compete), and the the winner there goes on to compete at the division (5 areas) and the winner there goes on to compete at the district (10 divisions). Our district covers the state of Florida and the Bahamas. The speech is about going to Phoenix last weekend to attend the Toastmasters annual conference and International Speech Contest which has two more levels of competition than the humorous speech contest. Do you think that we like to compete, maybe just a little?

So, for your reading pleasure, here is my speech...

Last weekend I had the opportunity to watch our very own Jim Bussey compete in my first ever Toast Master International Speech Contest.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to visit Phoenix, Arizona for the very first time.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to:
learn the latest in traveling fashion
make a new special friend on an airplane in a special way
experience the joy of dry heat
experience a blazing fire…in my mouth

Madame Contest Master, Fellow Toast Masters…what happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Phoenix becomes fodder for a humorous speech contest! In order to be in Phoenix, one must get to Phoenix so on Friday morning there I was at the airport. While waiting to board my plane in MIA, I heard this sound. [squeak, squeak, squeak]. It got louder. [squeak, squeak, squeak] I turned around expecting to see Norman Bates, or maybe a mouse...on steroids. But instead I saw these two precious suitcases. They were neon pink and had "Cinderella" plastered across the front of them. Naturally, I looked for the little girl that would have these suitcases. Nothing. Then I looked for maybe a little bit older of a girl. Nothing. Then I looked for maybe a young lady reliving her youth? Nothing. Instead I say a man. A tall rugged looking man. No one else. Just the man and his luggage approaching the gate agent. There was no daughter, no niece, no female child at all in his vicinity – just him. In fact the agent even asked if he was traveling with someone else, and he just walked off - alone with his pretty, pretty luggage and a special spring in his step.

So now I’m on the plane for the first leg of the trip. I was flying standby with another member of my Toastmasters club and we were grateful to be on the plane. Of course, we were seated separately and I was seated in the middle seat of my row. Nothing funny ever happens in the middle seat. Nothing exciting happens in the middle seat, except for when Troy is sitting in the middle seat! I was very tired, the air was stuffy, there was no movie – so I fell asleep. The thing is, when I woke up I realized I had snuggled my head on the shoulder (pause) of a really big guy next to me. Complete with spittle. He gave me a special look and I just knew he wanted my telephone number. Did I give it to him? [flutter eyelashes] A gentleman never tells.

Once we arrived in Phoenix I quickly departed the aircraft. When we exited the terminal and got outside, I realized that my traveling companion was hot! I mean smokin' hot! Of course at 112 degrees Fahrenheit even Donald Trump is hot. Yes ladies and gentlemen, 112 degrees. Of course [air quotes] they (who are they? The locals, the weathermen?) tell you, “Well, it’s a dry heat – so it’s not so bad”. Yeah, guess what – [air quotes] they’re lying. It is bad. It is unbearably bad. Oh and the whole “it’s not as bad as Miami” because there’s no humidity. Uh, no…the humidity is why we wrinkle less than they do. That damned dry air makes you shrivel up like a raisin in a big cereal bowl full of sand. Give me my 86 degrees with 112% humidity any day – at least my tongue doesn't feel like sandpaper.

But that’s not all the heat I was going to experience. Oh no. Apparently our friends in Phoenix are not content with just external unbearable heat. It seems they enjoy a raging inferno on the inside as well.

On our way to the hotel we stopped at a restaurant and I ordered an American classic: Macaroni & Cheese. I tend to like mild food and how could I go wrong with that? Ha! It had macaroni, it had cheese. It had also had Jalapenos, Scotch Bonnets, and Habaneras. It was served with a bottle of hot sauce and a damage waiver. Folks in Phoenix are crazy! That bowl of fire should've been called "Macaroni and oh please this is hot"! Bottom line: If you aren't crying at the end of a meal in Phoenix, then your meal consisted of water.

I’m not saying to not go to Phoenix, it’s a beautiful city. You'll have a great time as long you carry pink luggage, find the perfect airplane neighbor, go naked and most importantly bring a mini fire extinguisher for dinner. And always remember: What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Phoenix could seriously hurt you!


That's the sound of me opening my blog. It most assuredly has been a while. And there is no greater motivator to blog than (pick one):
a) being bored at work even with tons of work to do
b) a pink gerbil named Hal who lives in your desk drawer
c) a fellow blogger who pesters one into blogging submission who shall remain nameless other than to say that her name rhymes with Gilda.

So, what to blog, what to blog? For starters, how about some updates?

Our soon-to-be 2nd born will no longer be Spencer. From now on he shall be called forth upon the people and shall be known as Nazareth Zion Abraham Judas Maximilius Omega Gelinas. We'll call him Bob for short. Yeah, not so much. His name will be Dylan. Dylan Quinn Gelinas. We may call him Dill, or Dilly, or Silly Dilly, but my wife has made it perfectly clear that we won't be calling him DQ.

Other things going on...

We are in the middle of bathroom renovations. Not the most fun experience. One quickly forgets how much a pain in the ass home renovations are until one comes home from work only to find their toilet in the living room. Not far below that on the scale of home improvement annoyances is going through the painstaking process of covering everything in the adjoining bathroom only to find the workers cutting drywall inside the living room.

I just got back from a leisure trip in Phoenix. I wrote a speech about the experience for my Toastmasters club that I will post shortly.

I sold a house a last week. I sold it to my friends and its directly behind our home. It will be cool.

Okay, that's about it for now.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Joy That Is...

10. A cold beer on a hot day.
9. Knowing the answer to Final Jeopardy.
8. Waking up thinking its a weekday only to realize that it is Saturday.
7. Cuban coffee so good that it turns a dull grey morning into a bright yellow.
6. Catching all the green lights down US 1.
5. Finding a curled up twenty in my jeans.
4. Getting my work done on time.
3. My son running to great me when I pick up at daycare
- complete with "DAAAAAAAAAADY!" that lasts the whole way.
2. Finding the love of my life curled up in my lap.
1. Knowing that I belong where I am as who I am.

Yep, it's a MEME. Those are my top 10 ten Joys. What are yours?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

It's Official

Mayra and I have chosen the name for newest addition expected to arrive October 22, 2007. The name selection did not come easy. I have collected over 50 names, many of which are noted in a previous post. Yes, 50 plus perfectly good names. None of which seemed to appeal to Mayra. The one she was liking the most was Bryce, much to the chagrin of our friends (Hilda & Erick), and my stepmom, Linda. The other day we decided to pass the name by our 3 year old son, Wesley. We said, "Do you like the name Bryce?" He said, "Yes". We thought that's great. Then a moment later, he added, "Yeah daddy, I like Bryce and beans." Our second son's name will be Spencer.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Steven Wright: Anything but right!

Last night Mayra and went to see Steven Wright at the Carnival Center with another couple while another good friend watched Wesley for us. I have been a Steven Wright fan since I was a kid but I recognize that for most he can be an acquired taste. Click here for a sampling of his humor: http://http:/

So, more about last night's show. We had awesome seats only 3 rows from the stage. There was an elderly (times 10) couple sitting next to Mayra. They were a trip! They were very noticeable and prior to the show I took to referring to him as Uncle Sy. Uncle Sy man was impatient and started clapping at 8:15 when the show should've started at 8:00. It started around 8:20. Uncle Sy's wife had a touch of "What did he say?" By touch I mean that she asked that question to Uncle Sy after almost every punch line. It was actually funny at one point when Steven Wright did a bit where he sings a song but he just mumbles through the lyrics - think of Dylan. Uncle Sy's wife would ask, yet once again, what Wright was saying but he didn't know; no one did! Despite the neighborly annoyances, it was a very good show and Wright did a solid performance. This is the second time I've seen him live and he did more new material this time, only using his old stuff a few times. Though I do wish he would've told one of his all time classics: I walked up to a 24 hour convenience store when the guy was locking the door. I said, "The sign says 'Open 24 Hours' ". He said, "Yeah, but not in a row." Although I do now have a new favorite Wright quote: "On a scale from 1 to 10, 6 being the highest."

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Your Opinion Please!

We found out yesterday that our newest addition to the family will be a boy! I think our son, Wesley Scott, will be very happy to have a little brother! What's next? Names! We need to pick a name. Here is a list that we have come up with. We've narrowed it down to forty-one!!! Hee hee.
  1. Brent
  2. Cain
  3. Colby
  4. Daniel
  5. Dawson
  6. Desmond
  7. Dillon
  8. Duncan
  9. Dwight
  10. Ethan
  11. Everet
  12. Gavin
  13. Harper
  14. Harris
  15. Hunter
  16. Ian
  17. Jack
  18. Jackson
  19. Jared
  20. Kale (Cail)
  21. Kevin
  22. Lance
  23. Levon
  24. Lucas
  25. Marcus
  26. Mason
  27. Micah
  28. Mitchell
  29. Nathan
  30. Nathaniel
  31. Pierce
  32. Quinn
  33. Quint
  34. Rick (only because it’s my brother’s, dad’s, & grandpa’s name)
  35. Roan
  36. Ronan
  37. Ronin
  38. Sage
  39. Sean
  40. Tyler
  41. Wynn
Please reply with your top 3 and your bottom 3. If you wish to provide any justification for your choices - that would be great!

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

One Month Recap

This Morning
(Don't fret, we won't be going day-by-day. It just so happens that the first thing I want to share with you over the last month, since my last post, occurred this morning!)
This morning my wife was about to share with a nugget of Wesleyism* that she witnessed yesterday but was never able to finish as we both were consumed with laughter. She was telling me that our son, who is a day shy of being 3, made his way to the kitchen pantry and was eyeing the....our son was is in the room whilst she was telling me this and she didn't want to say what he was eyeing in fear that we'd have to give him some, so she did what all parents do when they want to bypass the ears of their toddlers, she spelled it out: "He was eyeing the p-o-p-c-o-r-n". At which point our son looked up at her and said, "No mommy. Popcorn."

*Wesleyism - A memorable phrase or action done by our toddler.

(Sort of. The crescendo of this next item I want to share with you did indeed occur yesterday but I feel I must fill in the back story.)
The outside of our house is finally complete! The pool in the backyard was ready as of February (great month to complete a swimming pool) but the rest of the yard was looking pretty scary. When we had selected a company to do the landscaping & re-sodding for us, the gentleman to whom I will refer to as "Miguel" because, well, that's his name, he had told me that I could save money by killing the old weed infested grass with round up on my own. When I bought the stuff, the label read that I would accomplish the task in two treatments. That was nearly a month ago and I have since bought more of the stuff and reapplied it a total of 5 times! But finally the grass died and suddenly it had occurred to me that I had been spraying my neighbor's lawn instead. Not really. With my old sod dead, we made one final trip out to Homestead and met the landscaper at the nursery and we purchased our plants. It took him and his crew two days to complete and it looks really great! How do I add pictures to my blog?

Last Weekend
("Last Weekend" actually started last Wednesday and concluded Sunday.)
We went to Orlando to see Mickey! By "we", I mean my wife, her fetus, our son, three of our closest friends, and my dad & step-mom joined us there Saturday evening. It was a blast. Being a Floridian, I grew up going to the Disney parks and the other ones every couple of years. As a dad, the experience changes so much. Now I am the one who gets to say "Don't make me turn this car around." Seriously though, it was a blast. Watching my son's face on all the rides and seeing how he taking it all in. He was in awe!

Two Weekends Ago
My wife and I were invited to dinner by our friends, a couple who were celebrating both of their birthdays and their 8th wedding anniversary - all occurring within 4 days of each other. Almost one important date* right after the other. How sweet is that? Can you say: "Suh-weet!" They had invited 3 other couples and we had a really dinner at began place called Sublime. Not being a vegetarian, I had my doubts, but the food was great and the ambiance of the place was really cool.

*Important Date - A date that a husband must remember, and buy gifts for.

Three Weekends Ago
I went to Orlando with two friends as judges for the state Odyssey of the Mind competitions. Yes, it was time of year again. It was rewarding watching the kids compete and complete their projects that they had worked on all year. It was educational as well. In fact, I had learned from one of my fellow event judges, that when one must flatulate, it is proper etiquette to "cut it off". Whilst explaining this, the person made a swiping motion behind her backside. I'm good to go and aren't YOU grateful that I passed along that little nugget of wisdom?

So, Until Next Time:
Spell out your snacks (in Latin); Don't bother read the label because they're all lies; Always were comfortable shoes; Don't be afraid of tofu - don't eat it, just don't be afraid of it either; and last, but not least, always remember to cut it off!

Monday, March 26, 2007

When All You Have Is Lemons

The following is the text of a speech that I will be giving Wednesday night at my Toastmasters meeting. And yes, it is "mostly" true.

When I was growing up, and I’d find myself in a less than desirable situation, my mom would always offer me the same encouraging words of advice.

She would say: Son, when all you have is lemons, listen to me now, she’d demand, when God gives you lemons, here’s what you do, you make a tall glass of…Vodka on the rocks…..with a twist!

Oh wait, that wasn’t my mom. That was Auntie Mame. My mom would say to make lemonade. But do it quietly.

Life is a bittersweet journey. The sweet part of life is the many opportunities that one has to reach great heights from the lowest of lows. In other words: to make lemonade from sour lemons. The bitter part is when those opportunities are missed. In other words: when those lemons are discarded out of disappointment or regret.

When I was little boy I had wanted to run a lemonade stand. Maybe it was a result of my mom’s advice. One Saturday morning my mom and oldest brothers were asleep leaving me, aged 6, and my brother Wesley, aged 9, to our own devices and that was when I decided to open the Troy & Wesley Lemonade Stand Incorporated. I’d be the brains and my brother would be the brawn. I shared this brainstorm with my brother: The Troy & Wesley Lemonade Stand Incorporated. It must’ve been forty-five minutes later when he let me get up from the ground and we began our new business: the Wesley & Troy Lemonade Stand Incorporated.

This was when we met our first obstacle: We had no lemons. The second obstacle: We had no sugar. And while we were only 6 and 8, we were pretty sure that those were the key ingredients in making Lemonade. That was when we decided to improvise. Some may tell you that improvisation is a great skill to be used at every chance, but when making lemonade…not so much!

However, after selling my brother on the idea of the entrepreneurial successes that would lead to corner offices in our tree house, I had no other choice. Given a less than desirable situation, we had to make the best of it.

So, what did our mom have in the kitchen that was sour? After some foraging, we found apple vinegar. Now, this would work, we thought, because not only was vinegar sour, sort of, but it said “apple”. Apple is a fruit. Lemon is a fruit. We weren’t deviating from the original ingredients that much.

Now for something sweet. Honey would’ve been good but my mom was out of honey. We were starting to think my mom ought to go shopping more often. We kept looking. Corn Syrup. Hey, syrup is sweet. Check! We mixed vinegar, corn syrup and water together hoping to get a pseudo-lemonade.

After a few stirs, I was thinking that we might still be okay. I mean, the other kids in our neighborhood weren’t so smart. We did it! We made lemonade, sort of, okay not really, but we made something and, in the process of doing so, we had also made a huge mess. But we did it quietly. There was flour strewn across the kitchen floor and broken eggs on her range top. I am still not sure why we had so many ingredients out. But this was not time to stop and possibly reflect on what a mess we had made, it was time to sell, sell, sell! So my brother grabbed the Dixie cups and I grabbed the mixing bowl and poured into a pitcher. So, with our merchandise in hand, we headed out the back door. My mom would later explain it is not socially recommended to use a crystal pitcher from Williams-Sonoma to sell lemonade. Nor is it very good for your backside!

We came back home two hours later. Would you believe that not one person would buy our lemonade?! But that was okay, because we had fun! That was soon to end. Mom was waiting for us. My brother was made to clean up the kitchen, I was wondering who was looking out for me when my mom rationalized out loud that since the lemonade was my idea, I was going to drink it because in our house, nothing went to waste. After two glasses of the stuff, my mom took pity on me and let me throw the rest of the stuff out. I guess I should’ve remembered her compassion later when I got sick, in her bed.

On that Saturday, I managed to make a huge mess; I made the first of several failed attempts at being an entrepreneur, and created a memory that would bring smiles to faces almost thirty years later. Sure I couldn’t sit down for a week but it was all worth it. So the next time you are left with apple vinegar and corn syrup or you maybe all you have are lemons and sugar, I hope that you’ll remember this story and that you’ll make the best out of the situation. By advice from my attorney, I offer this DISCLAIMER: I will not be held responsible for any and all medical and/or legal ramifications. But I hope that won’t deter you because you should always make the best out of it when all you have is lemons.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Something Yucky This Way Comes - and then happy thoughts for all!

Yucky News...
My mom is back in the hospital; this time with Collitus. Not sure about the spelling here but I am refering to a yucky stomach disease that is contagious, not the stuff in the opening lines of Hotel California. Anyway, she was only out for a week. Previously, she was in there for 3 weeks due to her Galbladder - again, sorry for any spelling slipups. They're not sure when she'll get out.

On a happier note...
I was just chatting with two coworkers about US drug laws, capital punishment, the horrible rape of a nine year old, how someone can be a Christian and still think for themselves, and the idea of killing Chenney. Wow, what a happy water cooler we have, eh?! Diverse people who have their own opinions - we need more of that.

Okay, really, on a happer note...
Doolittle, from American Idol, really rocked the place last night. She is awesome. I agree with Hilda that the boys aren't offering much. We both like Chris Sligh. For a runner up in the guys, she likes the bald guy and I like the beepbop kid. We'll see.

Games, food, drink, and merriment for all....
My friend Matt is taking me and another friend, Erick, out to Gameworks tonight for our birthdays. It is sure to be a blast!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously:

Okay, so check it out. These are not Troy-originals. I saw, I read, I liked, I copied. Enjoy.

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like.....night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, . . . . so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. Just remember --- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear> > bright until you hear them speak.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Where Do We Go From Here?

Okay, so the title for this post is meant to be a conversation starter across many topics. The question could lead to mind blowing discussions about social stigmas, political platforms, or environmental ethics. Or it it could lead to discussions about who will be voted off American Idol tonight (I am hoping it is the odd red head & the remaining duo from the two friends for the girls and for the boys, I hope its the Indian kid & the tall, dark, and handsome guy).

So, feel free to reply to one or more of the following topics (or come up with a new one) when you ask yourself: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

  1. On the corner of Michigan Avenue and 10th street?
  2. American Idol?
  3. The War in Iraq?
  4. RoseMary's baby? Wait, that's Ana Nicole's baby. Or is it?
  5. Heroes?
  6. Our next President?
  7. Bored and need a new hobby?
  8. Given the opportunity to have a conversation with a deceased well known person?
  9. Given the opportunity to have a conversation with a deceased person that was close to you?
  10. Suggestions for future posts?
That's it for now....

Have fun stormin' the castle!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

In Honor of Valentine's Day

This list was actually "borrowed" from another blog. There. I'm not going to jail for plagerism. For bad spelling? Maybe.

In honor of Valentine's Day, MSNBC presents the 5 all time cheesiest love songs of all time:

  1. “My Heart Will Go On,” Celine DionThe movie may not have coerced you to tears, but listening to Dion pledge her eternal love certainly will.
  2. “Love Hurts,” NazarethWhile the blame for this lyrical gem (note the sarcasm) doesn’t all fall on the shoulders of the big-haired Nazareth boys ... they should be held responsible for bringing it transcontinental, all the way from their pint-sized hometown in rural Scotland, to American top 40 radio.
  3. “Every Breath You Take,” The Police“Every Breath You Take” reads like a stalker’s to-do list: “Every single day, and every word you say, every game you play, every night you stay, I’ll be watching you.”
  4. “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That),” Meat Loafthe stringy-haired crooner’s oozing, goozing opus, has all the characteristics of a classic: mushy sentiment, sappy orchestration and a healthy dose of amorous excess.
  5. “In Your Eyes,” Peter GabrielPeter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” became an instant hit, encouraging lovers everywhere to mend broken hearts with grand romantic gestures.

The runners up:
  1. "You're Beautiful," James Blunt
  2. "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now," Starship
  3. "Wind Beneath My Wings," Bette Midler
  4. "If You Leave," OMD"(Everything I Do) I Do It For You," Bryan Adams
  5. "This Kiss," Faith Hill
  6. "All Out of Love," Air Supply
  7. "The Flame," Cheap Trick
  8. "I Will Always Love You," Whitney Houston
  9. "You Are So Beautiful," Joe Cocker
  10. "I Got You Babe," Sonny and Cher
  11. "More Than Words," Extreme
  12. "You Light Up My Life," Debbie Boone
  13. "Close to You," The Carpenters
  14. "From This Moment On," Shania Twain

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Tortoise Prevails

In the tale of the Tortoise and the Hare, the Tortoise wins the race. Well, call me the Tortoise of blogging. I realize that it has been a while since my last post and some of my readers - holy crap, I have readers - dropped me a line encouraging me to post again. Apparently more than one person likes to hear me go on and on about whatever strikes my fancy. So as does the Tortoise in his race against the hare, I intend to prevail in this new hobby of blogging.

A lot is going on right now. Our pool is nearly complete. I am shopping for a bike at the behest of my two older brothers. Work is crazy with a capital Q. Wesley amazes us almost daily as he grows from a toddler into a boy. Mayra remains beautiful. Life is good. Life is full.

Oh, I just sold a house. It was an easier than normal sale because it was a house for sale in our neighborhood that our friends Kim and Erick had found and wanted to see. So, they saw it and then they put an offer on it. After some non-adversarial interchanges between me and the listing agent, we had a deal! I sat on two Open Houses over the last two weekends for another agent in the office. I can't say that any business has come from it, but it was educational to say the least.

I am gearing up to help to my friend Matt with judging at the Odyssey Of The Mind competitions coming up, first regional, then state. It's my second year doing it and I really enjoy it. Check out for more info if you'd like.

My dad and step-mom are still working crazy mad to get out his fictional book. They recruited Gizzy, Mayra's cousin, to do the art work for the jacket. It's not my cup of tea but I suppose that's a good thing since it is written for women. :-) In any event, I wish him the best with it.

That's about it for now. Maybe I won't wait so long before posting again. Take care!