This site is dedicated to my fondness for fowl. Not in any way that requires years of therapy. It's not even my favorite meat. I just think it's neat. What can I say? I am easily amused.
Plus, it may have something to do with the fact that my first and middle names said together are a homonym of poultry (Paul Troy).

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Say What?

As a dad, there are words and phrases that you never think you'll hear yourself say to your little ones. Take for example, "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand's okay to smoke pot - recreationaly", or "I've had my doubts before, but now I know for're way too smart to be my offspring". These are things I can go to my grave without ever saying. Tonight I said something though that was almost as alarming:

Stop brushing your teeth, already!

Mrs. Phez bought Lil' Phez a new tooth brush this past weekend that when the operator of said hygienic cleaning device squeezes it, the thing will light up & start flashing a tacky & obtrusive fun & creative pattern of lights for the mandated suggested period of time allotted for brushing ones teeth that will provide for the sufficient removal of calcified sap from an 800 year old Sequoia bits of Cheetos from the youngsters teeth.

It was upon the occasion of my child squeezing the ?!@#?#@! toothbrush for the 4th time that I begged the Gods from the heavens above for the benevolent mercy to cease the antics of the toothbrush and in exchange I would offer my internal organs to be served at the nearest Benihana asked the kid to knock it off. Because, by this point in the evening, I wasn't sure which was to come first: (a)the end of the tooth brushing so my kid would go to bed, or (b)the apocalypse. I was betting on the latter.


Maria said...

Liv has one of those and we took the batteries out of it.....she was just four and we told it "passed on" and tossed it....

Patti said...

Ah, the joys of parenting. You'll look back on these days and smile. Our kids are 19 and 17.


purplepassion said...

I'm with Patti. Years from now you will remember that toothbrush & the moments that go with it with a smile.

Michael C said...

We have started letting our 5 year old twins put the toothpaste on their battery operated toohbrushes themselves. I fear not enough toothpaste is getting on the toothbrushes as the counter has been coverned repeated times with green goo. I also think they believe that you can talk and brush at the same time. Back to sqaure one...

Eva said...

That was a hilarious post! And Maria's comment has me laughing too. My little man wants toothpaste on his toothbrush and occasionally agrees to brush his teeth with my help, but mostly heads over to the living room window with it and proceeds to scrub away. I have entertained the idea of spraying Windex on the toothbrush instead, just to make it a productive effort at least.

Dapoppins said...

Tooth brushing is a great way to prolong sleep.

Just saying.

mama P told me to come by and say Hi.


Erick said...

Happy Father's Day.
Here's two good videos I thought I'd share. One representing the best of men (and fathers) and the other, not so much.

Obama on Fathers.

Don't sing this one at work.

Sari said...

I laugh, but only because we had those in our house.

Notice I said "had".

Matt said...

I have seen the light (on the toothbrush) and it seems as though Lil Phez has gotten over the fact that it flashes.

As for parents say the darnedest things, they do, and you should too TroyBoy....more darnedest things on your blog please!

purplepassion said...

HULLO!!!! Where ARE you!!!! I check in daily (almost) and no posts....WASSUP!?!?!?!?!

Matt said...

I agree purple! I am in the midst of a big move and I still find the time to write! And I will find the time to write once I start working too!

Eva said...

Hey - just checking in...everything okay over there??? We all miss you!

TroyBoy said...

So, did ya guys miss me? :-)

Maria - where are the stinkin' batteries?

Patti & PP - You're probably right!

Michael C - But think of the bright side...your counter tops won't have plaque build-up!

Eva - Thanks (1st comment) and I miss you guys too (2nd comment)!

Dapoppins - Thanks for stopping by and really, I'm not this irregular of a blogger - just ask my proctologist!

Erick - Thanks.

Sari - It seemed like a good idea at the time, right?

Matt - He still presses it everytime. Okay, more darndest comming, I promise.