As a dad, there are words and phrases that you never think you'll hear yourself say to your little ones. Take for example, "
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...it's okay to smoke pot - recreationaly", or "
I've had my doubts before, but now I know for sure...you're way too smart to be my offspring". These are things I can go to my grave without ever saying. Tonight I said something though that was almost as alarming:
Stop brushing your teeth, already!Mrs. Phez bought Lil' Phez a new tooth brush this past weekend that when the operator of said hygienic cleaning device squeezes it, the thing will light up & start flashing a
tacky & obtrusive fun & creative pattern of lights for the
mandated suggested period of time allotted for brushing ones teeth that will provide for the sufficient removal of
calcified sap from an 800 year old Sequoia bits of Cheetos from the youngsters teeth.
It was upon the occasion of my child squeezing the ?!@#?#@! toothbrush for the 4th time that I
begged the Gods from the heavens above for the benevolent mercy to cease the antics of the toothbrush and in exchange I would offer my internal organs to be served at the nearest Benihana asked the kid to knock it off. Because, by this point in the evening, I wasn't sure which was to come first: (a)the end of the tooth brushing so my kid would go to bed, or (b)the apocalypse. I was betting on the latter.
