"You're so lucky that your child is so well behaved in the store."
"Wow, your child is so attentive when you talk to him. You're blessed."
Argh!
Okay, so the above comments are referring to a toddler and not a teenager. Had it been a teenager to which they were referring, I'd say that the comments might have some merit. But it wasn't and they don't! Geesh!
My wife's family was over this weekend for a birthday party and her sister-in-law made one of the above comments (# 2 to be exact). And in the past, both my wife and I have been the recipient of comment # 1. Argh!
Yes, I did state it was "her sister-in-law". While I realize that it is not the fault of my wife that the woman married her brother, it is HER brother that she married. I take no ownership in the bizarreness that is that woman. But that's for a different posting.
If you couldn't tell it by now, these comments really tick me off. Yes, our 3 year old is very well behaved (most of the time) but luck has nothing to do with it. Having "good kids" does not happen by chance. It takes work, it takes the occasional slip-up, and then it takes more work.
And another thing...my child listens to us when we speak to him for two reasons:
1) It is expected that he do so.
2) We listen to him when he talks to us.
Respect begets respect.
Now I realize that all kids are born with a certain disposition and some kids are easier to "train" into positive behavior than others, but c'mon people! It ain't luck and the powers that be did not will it to happen. And when my son does act out, we act swiftly. And more importantly, we act consistently.
Okay, I'll get of my soapbox now.
7 comments:
I agree, it's not luck, it's how you treat them. We treat our kids the way we we expect them to treat us, and they (mostly) act accordingly.
I agree with you (and Sari) BUT there are no guarantees. I know plenty of GREAT parents, who I, for the most part, agree with how they handle things and the kid(s) go astray. So, maybe there's a little luck involved.
PREACH IT!!! I could NOT have said this better myself. If children are going astray, it is because they do not trust their parents to act consistantly. When something isn't working with our littles, we have to look at ourselves. 99.9% of the time WE have created the issue. I think parents are too afraid to judge themselves for fear of admitting they made a mistake.
Ooops... you can have your soapbox back now. ;)
HEY, I know you're not there but CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I just heard you are daddy again. Glad to hear everyone is doing well.
Congrats on your new one!!
I think I speak for many.. we are getting restless. We wanna hear how the new addition is doing. Is he sleeping through the night yet? Walking? Talking? What was his first word? Does he have any teeth yet? When will you potty train? Has he started solids? Working on his ABC's? Ok.. kidding aside.. I do want to hear how things are going. IMO, sleep deprived posts are the BEST. So let's hear it! :)
I just stumble upon your blog via Tracy's. My soapbox-
I know alot of people that are considered "good parents" and I can say this with confidence because one of them is my brother... There are not as many "good parents" out there as people say there are...not doubting you-you seem to have our philosphy on child rearing. My brother and his wife love their children dearly but they have 4 very BAD kids. Each one is an even bigger monster than the next. All the love in the world will not make a good child. Consistant parenting, consequences for bad behavior (whatever that may be), AND love are big key factors. I think most parents miss the first two and go straight for the third! I guess all I needed to say here was AMEN.
Sorry for such a loooong preachy post from someone who just now found your blog...but that is one very cute new baby you have on your hands...don't forget the first two and the love will come naturally.
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