1. Child has fever
2. Child gets medicine, which child actually enjoys
3. Child then complains of other illnesses
4. Child is kept home from preschool and is allowed to watch TV, normally a weekend-only privilege, whilst mommie takes care of infant and works from home.
5. Child is complaining of illnesses the second day with sippy cup in hand looking for Gatorade, a favorite libation of his and one that is reserved for times when he is ill.
Child is not dumb.
PS Totally unrelated: Last night, I placed 2nd in our annual Toastmasters Table Topics Contest.
Showing posts with label Toastmasters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toastmasters. Show all posts
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Monday, October 8, 2007
I Can Now Say…
…I have performed on stage at the Improv! Yes, it’s true. However, no, I wasn’t doing stand-up. This past Saturday, I competed at the Division E Toastmasters Evaluation Contest.
First, I do believe a bit of a back-story is in order...
In a previous post, I provided the contents of a speech that I gave at my Toastmasters’ club Humorous Speech contest. I had also won the Evaluation Contest, which is where the contestants all listen to the same speech. Then they prepare their notes for five minutes and leave the room. Then, one-by-one, each contestant is called back into the room, given their notes, and they deliver a 2 to 3 minute evaluation. Winning both events meant I was to compete at the Area contest, where the winners from 5 or 6 clubs will compete. Our Area Contest was last Wednesday. I won the Evaluation Contest and came in 2nd with my Phoenix Speech for the Humorous Speech contest. So, this past Saturday I competed in the Division Contest, which consists of 7 area winners. The audience consisted of about 100 Toastmasters and guests. So how did I do?
Technically, I tied for 2nd place. The rules state that there are to be no ties, so a secret tie-breaking judge cast their ballot putting me into 3rd place. I’m not bothered by coming in 3rd place. Especially when you consider that it was third out of all the contestants that had competed and lost in the all the area and club contests prior. Not too shabby! And the best part, it was a great experience. When public speaking is a passion, one is never sorry for the chance to appear on stage, even if they don’t come in first.
First, I do believe a bit of a back-story is in order...
In a previous post, I provided the contents of a speech that I gave at my Toastmasters’ club Humorous Speech contest. I had also won the Evaluation Contest, which is where the contestants all listen to the same speech. Then they prepare their notes for five minutes and leave the room. Then, one-by-one, each contestant is called back into the room, given their notes, and they deliver a 2 to 3 minute evaluation. Winning both events meant I was to compete at the Area contest, where the winners from 5 or 6 clubs will compete. Our Area Contest was last Wednesday. I won the Evaluation Contest and came in 2nd with my Phoenix Speech for the Humorous Speech contest. So, this past Saturday I competed in the Division Contest, which consists of 7 area winners. The audience consisted of about 100 Toastmasters and guests. So how did I do?
Technically, I tied for 2nd place. The rules state that there are to be no ties, so a secret tie-breaking judge cast their ballot putting me into 3rd place. I’m not bothered by coming in 3rd place. Especially when you consider that it was third out of all the contestants that had competed and lost in the all the area and club contests prior. Not too shabby! And the best part, it was a great experience. When public speaking is a passion, one is never sorry for the chance to appear on stage, even if they don’t come in first.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
I Am a Wiener!
As I posted last Wednesday, I had competed at my Toastmasters club's Humorous Speech Contest using the 'Phoenix' speech. Having been to 'Phoenix', I believe that this speech is giving the town more notoriety than it may rightfully deserve, but so be it.
So, how did I do? Out of three contestants, I came in first. And I learned that it was NOT a landslide so I have some work to do before I compete at the Area Contest two weeks from tomorrow.
We actually had two contests. The humorous speech contest and the evaluation contest. In the latter, all contestants (we had 9) listen to a test speaker. We are then given 5 minutes to prepare our notes. Then all the contestants, except for the one who drew to go first, are escorted out of the room and each contestant gives a 1 to 2 minute evaluation. Once the contestant has finished they can stay in the room. I am happy to say that I placed first in that contest as well.
I guess that makes me a double-wiener.
Wish me luck for both contests!
So, how did I do? Out of three contestants, I came in first. And I learned that it was NOT a landslide so I have some work to do before I compete at the Area Contest two weeks from tomorrow.
We actually had two contests. The humorous speech contest and the evaluation contest. In the latter, all contestants (we had 9) listen to a test speaker. We are then given 5 minutes to prepare our notes. Then all the contestants, except for the one who drew to go first, are escorted out of the room and each contestant gives a 1 to 2 minute evaluation. Once the contestant has finished they can stay in the room. I am happy to say that I placed first in that contest as well.
I guess that makes me a double-wiener.
Wish me luck for both contests!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
What Happens in Vegas May Stay in Vegas…but Phoenix Ain’t no Vegas!
That is the title of the speech that I will be competing with this evening at my Toastmaster's humorous speech competition. The contest is at my club, and the winner goes on to compete at the area ( 7 clubs compete), and the the winner there goes on to compete at the division (5 areas) and the winner there goes on to compete at the district (10 divisions). Our district covers the state of Florida and the Bahamas. The speech is about going to Phoenix last weekend to attend the Toastmasters annual conference and International Speech Contest which has two more levels of competition than the humorous speech contest. Do you think that we like to compete, maybe just a little?
So, for your reading pleasure, here is my speech...
Last weekend I had the opportunity to watch our very own Jim Bussey compete in my first ever Toast Master International Speech Contest.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to visit Phoenix, Arizona for the very first time.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to:
learn the latest in traveling fashion
make a new special friend on an airplane in a special way
experience the joy of dry heat
experience a blazing fire…in my mouth
Madame Contest Master, Fellow Toast Masters…what happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Phoenix becomes fodder for a humorous speech contest! In order to be in Phoenix, one must get to Phoenix so on Friday morning there I was at the airport. While waiting to board my plane in MIA, I heard this sound. [squeak, squeak, squeak]. It got louder. [squeak, squeak, squeak] I turned around expecting to see Norman Bates, or maybe a mouse...on steroids. But instead I saw these two precious suitcases. They were neon pink and had "Cinderella" plastered across the front of them. Naturally, I looked for the little girl that would have these suitcases. Nothing. Then I looked for maybe a little bit older of a girl. Nothing. Then I looked for maybe a young lady reliving her youth? Nothing. Instead I say a man. A tall rugged looking man. No one else. Just the man and his luggage approaching the gate agent. There was no daughter, no niece, no female child at all in his vicinity – just him. In fact the agent even asked if he was traveling with someone else, and he just walked off - alone with his pretty, pretty luggage and a special spring in his step.
So now I’m on the plane for the first leg of the trip. I was flying standby with another member of my Toastmasters club and we were grateful to be on the plane. Of course, we were seated separately and I was seated in the middle seat of my row. Nothing funny ever happens in the middle seat. Nothing exciting happens in the middle seat, except for when Troy is sitting in the middle seat! I was very tired, the air was stuffy, there was no movie – so I fell asleep. The thing is, when I woke up I realized I had snuggled my head on the shoulder (pause) of a really big guy next to me. Complete with spittle. He gave me a special look and I just knew he wanted my telephone number. Did I give it to him? [flutter eyelashes] A gentleman never tells.
Once we arrived in Phoenix I quickly departed the aircraft. When we exited the terminal and got outside, I realized that my traveling companion was hot! I mean smokin' hot! Of course at 112 degrees Fahrenheit even Donald Trump is hot. Yes ladies and gentlemen, 112 degrees. Of course [air quotes] they (who are they? The locals, the weathermen?) tell you, “Well, it’s a dry heat – so it’s not so bad”. Yeah, guess what – [air quotes] they’re lying. It is bad. It is unbearably bad. Oh and the whole “it’s not as bad as Miami” because there’s no humidity. Uh, no…the humidity is why we wrinkle less than they do. That damned dry air makes you shrivel up like a raisin in a big cereal bowl full of sand. Give me my 86 degrees with 112% humidity any day – at least my tongue doesn't feel like sandpaper.
But that’s not all the heat I was going to experience. Oh no. Apparently our friends in Phoenix are not content with just external unbearable heat. It seems they enjoy a raging inferno on the inside as well.
On our way to the hotel we stopped at a restaurant and I ordered an American classic: Macaroni & Cheese. I tend to like mild food and how could I go wrong with that? Ha! It had macaroni, it had cheese. It had also had Jalapenos, Scotch Bonnets, and Habaneras. It was served with a bottle of hot sauce and a damage waiver. Folks in Phoenix are crazy! That bowl of fire should've been called "Macaroni and oh please this is hot"! Bottom line: If you aren't crying at the end of a meal in Phoenix, then your meal consisted of water.
I’m not saying to not go to Phoenix, it’s a beautiful city. You'll have a great time as long you carry pink luggage, find the perfect airplane neighbor, go naked and most importantly bring a mini fire extinguisher for dinner. And always remember: What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Phoenix could seriously hurt you!
So, for your reading pleasure, here is my speech...
Last weekend I had the opportunity to watch our very own Jim Bussey compete in my first ever Toast Master International Speech Contest.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to visit Phoenix, Arizona for the very first time.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to:
learn the latest in traveling fashion
make a new special friend on an airplane in a special way
experience the joy of dry heat
experience a blazing fire…in my mouth
Madame Contest Master, Fellow Toast Masters…what happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Phoenix becomes fodder for a humorous speech contest! In order to be in Phoenix, one must get to Phoenix so on Friday morning there I was at the airport. While waiting to board my plane in MIA, I heard this sound. [squeak, squeak, squeak]. It got louder. [squeak, squeak, squeak] I turned around expecting to see Norman Bates, or maybe a mouse...on steroids. But instead I saw these two precious suitcases. They were neon pink and had "Cinderella" plastered across the front of them. Naturally, I looked for the little girl that would have these suitcases. Nothing. Then I looked for maybe a little bit older of a girl. Nothing. Then I looked for maybe a young lady reliving her youth? Nothing. Instead I say a man. A tall rugged looking man. No one else. Just the man and his luggage approaching the gate agent. There was no daughter, no niece, no female child at all in his vicinity – just him. In fact the agent even asked if he was traveling with someone else, and he just walked off - alone with his pretty, pretty luggage and a special spring in his step.
So now I’m on the plane for the first leg of the trip. I was flying standby with another member of my Toastmasters club and we were grateful to be on the plane. Of course, we were seated separately and I was seated in the middle seat of my row. Nothing funny ever happens in the middle seat. Nothing exciting happens in the middle seat, except for when Troy is sitting in the middle seat! I was very tired, the air was stuffy, there was no movie – so I fell asleep. The thing is, when I woke up I realized I had snuggled my head on the shoulder (pause) of a really big guy next to me. Complete with spittle. He gave me a special look and I just knew he wanted my telephone number. Did I give it to him? [flutter eyelashes] A gentleman never tells.
Once we arrived in Phoenix I quickly departed the aircraft. When we exited the terminal and got outside, I realized that my traveling companion was hot! I mean smokin' hot! Of course at 112 degrees Fahrenheit even Donald Trump is hot. Yes ladies and gentlemen, 112 degrees. Of course [air quotes] they (who are they? The locals, the weathermen?) tell you, “Well, it’s a dry heat – so it’s not so bad”. Yeah, guess what – [air quotes] they’re lying. It is bad. It is unbearably bad. Oh and the whole “it’s not as bad as Miami” because there’s no humidity. Uh, no…the humidity is why we wrinkle less than they do. That damned dry air makes you shrivel up like a raisin in a big cereal bowl full of sand. Give me my 86 degrees with 112% humidity any day – at least my tongue doesn't feel like sandpaper.
But that’s not all the heat I was going to experience. Oh no. Apparently our friends in Phoenix are not content with just external unbearable heat. It seems they enjoy a raging inferno on the inside as well.
On our way to the hotel we stopped at a restaurant and I ordered an American classic: Macaroni & Cheese. I tend to like mild food and how could I go wrong with that? Ha! It had macaroni, it had cheese. It had also had Jalapenos, Scotch Bonnets, and Habaneras. It was served with a bottle of hot sauce and a damage waiver. Folks in Phoenix are crazy! That bowl of fire should've been called "Macaroni and oh please this is hot"! Bottom line: If you aren't crying at the end of a meal in Phoenix, then your meal consisted of water.
I’m not saying to not go to Phoenix, it’s a beautiful city. You'll have a great time as long you carry pink luggage, find the perfect airplane neighbor, go naked and most importantly bring a mini fire extinguisher for dinner. And always remember: What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, but what happens in Phoenix could seriously hurt you!
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