It's Time for Some Catsup!

Or is it ketchup?

Actually, it's neither.

It's time to catch up.

Yes Father, it's over a year since my last confession, um, post; yes, since my last post. A lot has happened. We lost another pet. Our dog, Sasha, who was 16. Both Mrs. Phez and I are surviving in this down turned economy, knock on wood - ouch! Lil Phez and Baby Phez are doing grrreat. Although Baby Phez will need a different name....today was his 2nd birthday! You'd think after a year, I'd have more to say, but baby steps I reckon. Here are some pics in the meantime.

Here is a picture of Lil Phez on his first day of Kindergarten. He loves school. He was named student of the month last month!

And here is the big two year old in a school photo taken last week. And yes, he is that cute and that devilish all rolled into one!

And lastly, here are some pictures of our recent home improvement project: building a door for our kitchen pantry. Thanks Home Depot!

Don't Eat Soggy Waffles!

An interchange that happened this afternoon on the way home from work & daycare:

Lil Phez: Don't eat soggy waffles, right daddy?
Me: Huh? What baby?
Lil Phez: I told to you, "Don't eat soggy waffles". That's right, right daddy?
Me: Surrrrre. Okay, sweetie.
(About 10 minutes later; closer to our home)
Lil Phez: That way is eat, right daddy? And that way is waffles.
Me: (not hearing him completely) That's right, left is that way and right is that way.
Lil Phez: No daddy, soggy is there and don't is there. I know because 'don't eat soggy waffles.
Me: Ohhhh, baby it's not 'Don't', it's never. You're saying "Never Eat Soggy Waffles". That's neat that you know that. Who told you that?
Lil Phez: Diana at school. It was on her t=shirt with arrows.
Me: Cool. I learned it as "Never Eat Shredded Wheat"...it helps you remember directions.
Lil Phez: Yep.

Friday Shuffle - A Tribute Edition

Hi guys,

Yesterday one of our two 16 year old cats past away; JJ. He was aided in his departure by the vet and both Mrs. Phez and I were with him. So, with a nod to Fred to start the music, let's call this one out to my little grey and black tiger-striped kitty.

1. "Lovely Rita", by the Beattles. A great song that makes some silly lyrics work. I love the piano stylings in this song reminiscent of "The Entertainer".
2. "Divorce Song", by Lix Phair. Okay, not a great song. A good song, though. And I'm impressed that Liz got through a song without dropping the F-bomb. Woops, scratch that last part - I was writing this during the tail end of the song...no such luck.
3. "What a Fool Believes", by The Doobie Brothers. A classic. But I admit that I really know the refrain.
4. "Two Less Lonely People in the World", by Air Supply. Gag me with spoon.
5. "Scared of You", by Nelly Fritada (Okay I know it's "Furtado", but Fritada is just a lot funnier)
6. "Can't Stop This Thing We Started", by Bryan Adams. See how one gets punished for saying that they like 80's music?
7. "I Can See For Miles", by the Who. The unknown continuation of that song is, "...When I'm Not in a Drug Induced Stupor".
8. "Back In The Saddle", by Aerosmith.
9. "Strawberry Fields Forever", off of the Across the Universe soundtrack
10. "Good Feeling", by the Violent Femmes.

Well that it's for the very odd shuffle. Peace, everyone.

Today Is Hilda's Birthday

Please go over to her blog and wish her a happy one. Her in-laws are visiting them from out of town. I won't say anything more...just go over wish that girl a happy b-day for the love of God!

Nope. Not Dead.

Busy? Yes.

Tired? Yes.

Lazy? Yes.

Happy that I have Blogger Friends that care about me? Yes.

Dead? Not yet.

I will post again soon. Sorry everyone!

Say What?

As a dad, there are words and phrases that you never think you'll hear yourself say to your little ones. Take for example, "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...it's okay to smoke pot - recreationaly", or "I've had my doubts before, but now I know for sure...you're way too smart to be my offspring". These are things I can go to my grave without ever saying. Tonight I said something though that was almost as alarming:

Stop brushing your teeth, already!

Mrs. Phez bought Lil' Phez a new tooth brush this past weekend that when the operator of said hygienic cleaning device squeezes it, the thing will light up & start flashing a tacky & obtrusive fun & creative pattern of lights for the mandated suggested period of time allotted for brushing ones teeth that will provide for the sufficient removal of calcified sap from an 800 year old Sequoia bits of Cheetos from the youngsters teeth.

It was upon the occasion of my child squeezing the ?!@#?#@! toothbrush for the 4th time that I begged the Gods from the heavens above for the benevolent mercy to cease the antics of the toothbrush and in exchange I would offer my internal organs to be served at the nearest Benihana asked the kid to knock it off. Because, by this point in the evening, I wasn't sure which was to come first: (a)the end of the tooth brushing so my kid would go to bed, or (b)the apocalypse. I was betting on the latter.

It Could Happen To You

To Shamelessly Promote a Product or Not - That Is the Question!

Up until now I haven't ever promoted any products or services on my blog. It isn't that I am against it, although I do lean heavily towards the opinion that huge corporations don't need my assistance when they pour millions into Madison Avenue.

It really is a great system as it is and we the commoners don't need to mess with it. The corporations spend advertising dollars thus keeping folks employed in marketing firms, finishing houses and a whole bunch of other places too, I suppose. So why am considering throwing my leanings into the wind in order to promote a line of products?

Is it because I am getting paid commission? Nope! Though, if the company wanted to send me a complimentary product or two, I wouldn't complain.

Is it some type of marketing pyramid like Amway? Hell, no.

Is it because I like the performance of the products I've tried so far and I like that the company uses materials that are non-toxic, environmentally friendly, and never tested on animals? Well, yeah!

Don't get me wrong. While I want the planet to stick around for as long as possible and cherish the idea of my great-great-great-great grand kids living on said planet without the aid of an oxygen tank or a body suit, I don't necessarily consider myself I twig eating tree hugger.

Also, as far as I can tell, they're not a huge corporation; they're the little guy on the block and that's another reason I don't mind asking others to consider trying these guys out.

The company is called Seventh Generation. Here is their website. Their products are available at Publix and Target - maybe other places, I just know of these two retailers.

So far, we've only used their spray cleaner (similar to Clorox spray) and their dish detergent. I saw the spray cleaner in the store and at first, I was skeptical. But I saw that it was environmentally friendly and non-toxic. With a 8 month old and a 4 year old, I bought it. A few weeks later, I came across the dish detergent in the same Publix. So I bought that too. When I first used, I thought I was going to be disappointed. It comes out very watery and there is no fake lemony smell to tell you that this stuff cleans great. Another nod to Madison avenue for bringing us, the American Consumers, to yet another illogical conclusion. But damned if it doesn't clean just as well, if not better, than the other brands.

So, give it a try. Tell me what you think!

Cute, Even If I Do Say So Myself

Thanks Erick for taking the picture and for including it in your Flickr Photostream.

Friday Shuffle, Shuffle Me Into The Weekend, Puh-lease!

It's a coupla crazy weeks. And yes, I miss blogging. I think what I miss more is visiting (and reading) the posts of my blogging friends! So in all of this craziness that I have going on right now, I couldn't even find time to hang with Fred. So this shuffle is sans-Fred. Instead, I am using the massive compilation that I have access to via one of the servers at my work. There are over 7 thousand tracks on that bad boy. Everybody contributes. It's kinda cool because you never know what you're gonna get. To that end, I will call this source of tunes "Life".

Take 'er away, Life!

1. "Miss Bonfield", by the Fab Five. Who are the guys, you ask? Only the best Soka band there is!
2. "Say", by the Corrs. I think Hilda added this one to the mix. Not too shabby, I s'pose.
3. "Rimsky", by Arturo Sandoval
4. "Force Ten", by Rush
5. "What's the Matter Here?", by 10,000 Maniacs
6. "It Doesn't Have To Be (Like That)", by Erasure
7. "Major Tom", by David Bowie...and everyone wants to know whose shirts you wear!
8. "Family Business", by the Fugees - Okay, I know some of you are impressed.
9. "The Journey", by Boston - Okay, I know that those same people are no doubt horrified.
10. "Are You Having Any Fun", by Tony Bennett - Wow.

This shuffle has been all over the place. Which is why I guess it reminds me of a family summer road trip, and just like a family trip some of the stops were relished and others - not so much. Well, here is to awesome road trips to all! Have a great weekend!

Just for the Halibut

Some will say I am a very punny guy. Of course, most folks wouldn't dare say such a thing. But in an effort to get more people into that camp, I am bringing you some really punny stuff.

This first set comes from my memory of when I used to be in AOL chat rooms - do they still have those? Anyway, we used to think of iconic phrases or names and do a switcheroo with the word "spam". This was done as a tribute to the mystery meat of all mystery meats. Oh, oh...I just thought of a pun: What did the butcher say to the whole cow that arrived at his shop? Nice to meat you. Get it? Meat you, instead of meet you. Meat you. He's a butcher. He said meat you. Oh my Gawd, I crack myself up!

Okay, so here we go:
10. Duck! It's a drive by spamming!
9. Introducing: Spammy Davis Junior!
8. Just for the spam of it.
7. Here's spam in your eye.
6. It's all fun & games until someone loses a spam.
5. I'm so hungry I could eat a spam.
4. Let's run it up the spam pole to see if any one salutes.
3. Even a blind pig will find a spam sometimes.
2. It's so hot outside that I could fry a spam on the sidewalk.
1. All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give spam a chaaaance!

Which brings me to one of my favorite things to do in mixed company. No, not that! I like to sing the lyric "All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give peace a chaaaance!" But I change the word peace to whatever suits my fancy. One of my favorites:
All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give crack a chaaaance!
All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give necrophilia a chaaaance!
All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give sex with your cousin a chaaaance!

And another head turner I just discovered while blogging at work: Go up to a bunch of your coworkers and say: "...and how do you spell necrophilia?".

Okay, I think I'm done now. I hope this posting was enjoyable for you as it was me. Oh, and if you want to leave a comment with some more spam phrases, be my guest!

Well, Isn't That Silly?!

I remember growing up hearing and then retelling the tale of how silly the execs. at GM were for trying to sell their Chevy Nova in Spanish speaking countries. Their silliness comes from the fact idea that the word Nova sounds a lot like the Spanish words no va, which translates to doesn't go. So, no one in those countries bought the car and it was a huge failure all because the corporation trying to sell something didn't do their research.

Well, apparently it never happened. Yes the car was sold in some Spanish speaking countries but it was not a failure and there is no evidence that consumers mistook it to mean no va. See this informative article that debunks the mythic lore on http://www.snopes.com/ for more info.

The Snopes article goes on to make the point that the folks who spread the urban legend are doing the very same thing that the tale is finding fault with: Not doing adequate research before hand. There are a lot of marketing courses and books that cite this anecdote as proof of poor preparation / fact checking. I guess the material was created before Snopes was around. :-)

There is another legendary tale of linguistic snafus in marketing about a slogan from the vacuum company, Electrolux. The slogan was, "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux" and it was purported that due to the poor translation into English, that the ad hurt sales for the company. Well, that turns out to be another falsehood because where the slogan was promoted, the U.K., the word suck is not used, or at least it wasn't used back then, to mean "to do poorly", the exact opposite of the ad's intent.

Why have I brought to you these tales of marketing gone wrong do to loose translations? I have no idea. If you figure out the reason for me, leave a post. The most probable answer will win a prize!

What Does This Photo Say To You?

This is a picture taken by a friend of mine while he was on vaycay.

He's gonna hit me now because that's way too cutsey-wootsey of a word for him. This is a test to see if he really reads my blog or not. And, yes, I have his permission to post it.

So what does the picture say to you? I'm not asking what's in the photo, but rather, what sort of feelings does it evoke (or is it invoke)?

Second Question - Do you like the photo? Do you not like it? Why? (Okay, so technically that was 3 questions, but they're all related)

PS Thanks Erick for the permission to post your photography...more to come - maybe.

More Thoughts On Parenting - Your Thoughts Please

Last night Matt and I went for a run...

...an ice cream run, that is. You know, where ya run out to get something, like ice cream. You didn't think that I meant...that we went....if you were thinking those horrible thoughts about me, then take them back. The only time you'll find me running is if someone is chasing me.

But I digress...

So, while we're at the DQ, we were standing in line behind a mom who was ordering ice cream with her youngin', I'd say he was about 8, and the patriarch of their family was sitting on a bench nearby. As she is trying to tell the ice scream scooper kid what they wanted, she was interrupted by her son who was whining and pleading for something...I can't tell you what exactly because of a language barrier, but suffice it to say that it was ice cream related. He was pulling on her blouse while half-saying & half-crying the words, "Mami, Mami!" over and over. He was so annoying.

The mom then turns to the ice cream scooper kid and conveyed the kid's request, with the help of her husband who spoke English. That's right; the kid was given whatever he was whining for! So they were ordering some more stuff when the kid starts up again. I complained to Matt about the kid being a brat and he just shrugs it off with a grateful appreciation that he doesn't have to deal with the kid. I wish I could do that. But instead, I let it irk me. So anyway, apparently this time the kid didn't get what he wanted because he stomped off away from her, then he turned around, and threw something at her. HE THREW SOMETHING AT HER!!! He ended his performance by throwing himself onto the bench where he pouted and whimpered. Did I mention the kid is 8, maybe 9? So she finishes her order, pays for it, and then turns to her family where she gives the kid his ice cream.

In my head, I am playing out the scenario as if it were me and Lil' Phez (who's 4) in the roles of the mom and her kid, and let me tell you: None of the scenarios end in me giving him ice cream. I still get pissed thinking about it.

They then go outside and sit on the benches in the front of the store to eat their ice cream. We buy our stuff and 5 minutes later we exit the store. When we get outside, the kid is wailing about something. I so wanted to tell that kid a word or two - or three or four. That little spoiled brat. Instead I muttered something to Matt and just shrugged as we trotted out to the my car and headed home.

So, here's the question....should I have said something? This is assuming the kid understands English.

The Difference Between....

...new parents and veteran parents

Scenario: Baby eating at the table and their barely eaten food falls off the table onto the floor and the family dog heads over in that direction

New Parent: Well, at least we don't have to clean it up. Enjoy, Fido.

Veteran Parent: (thinking of the expense of the meal or the time it took to prepare, says to the other parent) Quick honey, before the dog gets to it. Be sure to brush it off really well.

Friday Shuffle - The Work My Arse Off Edition

Isn't "Arse" a great word? It sounds so much better than the American version of the word, don't ya think? Well, even if you don't - I do...and this is my blog so guess what? It's staying no matter what you say!!!!

Sorry, it's 5:30 in the morning and I am leaving shortly to go to work for the next 14 or so hours. Won't I be super-fun to work with? Well at least I got my shuffle in. Okay Fred, I need a really really good shuffle please.

1. "Can't Stand Losing You", by the Police.
2. "Jackamo Road", by John Mellencamp.
3. "Somebody Help Me", by the Iguanas. I love this group and this is a great song with great lyrics: Somebody help me, I can't do it on my own.
4. "Brown Sugar", by The Rolling Stones. Okay, I'm afraid I might jinx this but Fred is doling out some seriously good kick-ass tunes!
5. "You Are Everything", by Michael McDonald. Well, there ya go. Jinxed.
6. "Where Are You Boy", by Patty Loveless (from the Tin Cup soundtrack) - okay, who else other than Sari and me know (and love) this move, and soundtrack?
7. "I Heard It Through The Grapevine", [sung by] by Michael McDonald. Just as good as the Marvin Gaye version.
8. "That's Where I'll Be", by Little Big Town.
9. "Solbsury Hill", by Peter Gabriel
10. "In My Life", by the Beattles.

Not too shabby, Fred. 9 out of 10 songs. Okay, I'm off. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend everyone.

It's Time To Clean House!

I originally had typed, as the title, "It's Time To Clean Horse!" And while I am not sure if that title is more suited for an educational video on animal husbandry, let me tell you that is not the title of the post. Nope, this is a quick post to let you all know that I've done some spring cleaning on my blog, namely in the blogroll quadrant of the place.

Here are the blogs that I have removed from the blogroll...
Queue Taps...
Dixie Peach - She seems like a nice enough lady but she loses me with the knitting. Knitting scares me just a little.
I Am Husband - The guy has just started his blog so I wanted to give it a chance. At first the premise, How To Be A Better Husband, sounded great but from the tone of his posts, I am concerned he is going to try to sell his readers a book or something. Maybe I'll go back once I learn how to read.
PoppyMom - One of my real world friends, who is also a blogger friend, loves this blog. I just can't get into it. The writing is just a little too biting for me. Yet, Elise's blog, which often features biting, and other forms of pleasure among consenting adults, is still proudly featured on my blogroll.
Shooter McFinney - Another real world friend. She hasn't posted since January, so she's off the island! We bloggers are a fickle lot!
Shoulders of Giant Midgets - I'm not sure how I came across this conquest blog that I felt it should be on my blogroll, but my infatuation seems to be over now.
Southern Muslimah - This young lady came to my blog via another blogger on my blog roll and she mentioned that she too is a huge fan of Chick-fil-a and that was enough for me back then to have her on the blogroll. I've grown. She's grown. It's over but I will never look at another waffle fry the same way again.

Here is the blog that I've added to the blogroll:
Queue drumroll please...
The Wonderful World of Nothing Worthwhile -
The ebb and flow of bloggers and blogs and blogrolls is a neat phenomenon thingy. About a month ago Sari demanded encouraged that her readers at The Geek Inside go check out her friend's blog called Sveedish. So I did and I now go back on a regular basis. While reading the comments there I've noticed some really funny ones from Michael C, so I checked out his blog. I am hooked and I waited the respectable 72 hours before adding the blog to my blogroll. I am taking a queue from Sari and I am insisting recommending that if you're reading this sentence, then after you've left me a comment, go over to Michael's blog and have a good belly laugh!

What Are You Worth?

I've been at work for 11 hours today and have 2 or 3 more to go. We are working on critical issues that have continued to resurface on this project over the last 5 months, since we implemented it. We spend time on implementing solutions over several weeks only to be in the same spot a month or two later. We work nights and weekends. It makes me ask, "What am I worth"?

I know that I am worth one-fifth of forty dollars in pizza because that's what we ate for dinner and the big boss, who isn't here, offered to pay for dinner. I hope I don't lose the crinkled register receipt that is currently in my shirt pocket, otherwise, my worth will be diminished even more. I don't mind working late sometimes but it just makes me wonder....what's it all for? What is my worth? Have you asked yourself that question lately? What is a stay-at-home-mom's worth? How is it measured? In dirty diapers or toothless smiles?

I know my measure as a husband and as a father, but how is my worth measured as a business analyst? Do you wonder about these things? Should I? Or should I just get back to work so that I can go home sooner than later?

Smokin!

(The title is to be read the way that Jim Carey's character says it in Mask)

Our little hamlet of Miami has wildfires beckoning at its borders. It's been going on for a while now.

The first set of fires was north of us along the coast. Those have been put out and now there is another set in the everglades. As of this morning, the 36,000 acre blaze has been 30% contained, according to AP. We've been warned via the media to stay in doors because of poor air quality due to the amount of smoke in the air. It is getting pretty bad. There seems to be no danger of homes and other buildings catching fire, but being one that always sees the glass as half-full, I have my marshmallows, graham crackers, and Hershey's chocolate bars ready to go!

Okay, I Liked the Show and All, But...

...a fan club for The Greatest American Hero?

Have these fans seen what the star of the show looks like nowadays?

Then...

Now...