Say What?

As a dad, there are words and phrases that you never think you'll hear yourself say to your little ones. Take for example, "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...it's okay to smoke pot - recreationaly", or "I've had my doubts before, but now I know for sure...you're way too smart to be my offspring". These are things I can go to my grave without ever saying. Tonight I said something though that was almost as alarming:

Stop brushing your teeth, already!

Mrs. Phez bought Lil' Phez a new tooth brush this past weekend that when the operator of said hygienic cleaning device squeezes it, the thing will light up & start flashing a tacky & obtrusive fun & creative pattern of lights for the mandated suggested period of time allotted for brushing ones teeth that will provide for the sufficient removal of calcified sap from an 800 year old Sequoia bits of Cheetos from the youngsters teeth.

It was upon the occasion of my child squeezing the ?!@#?#@! toothbrush for the 4th time that I begged the Gods from the heavens above for the benevolent mercy to cease the antics of the toothbrush and in exchange I would offer my internal organs to be served at the nearest Benihana asked the kid to knock it off. Because, by this point in the evening, I wasn't sure which was to come first: (a)the end of the tooth brushing so my kid would go to bed, or (b)the apocalypse. I was betting on the latter.

It Could Happen To You

To Shamelessly Promote a Product or Not - That Is the Question!

Up until now I haven't ever promoted any products or services on my blog. It isn't that I am against it, although I do lean heavily towards the opinion that huge corporations don't need my assistance when they pour millions into Madison Avenue.

It really is a great system as it is and we the commoners don't need to mess with it. The corporations spend advertising dollars thus keeping folks employed in marketing firms, finishing houses and a whole bunch of other places too, I suppose. So why am considering throwing my leanings into the wind in order to promote a line of products?

Is it because I am getting paid commission? Nope! Though, if the company wanted to send me a complimentary product or two, I wouldn't complain.

Is it some type of marketing pyramid like Amway? Hell, no.

Is it because I like the performance of the products I've tried so far and I like that the company uses materials that are non-toxic, environmentally friendly, and never tested on animals? Well, yeah!

Don't get me wrong. While I want the planet to stick around for as long as possible and cherish the idea of my great-great-great-great grand kids living on said planet without the aid of an oxygen tank or a body suit, I don't necessarily consider myself I twig eating tree hugger.

Also, as far as I can tell, they're not a huge corporation; they're the little guy on the block and that's another reason I don't mind asking others to consider trying these guys out.

The company is called Seventh Generation. Here is their website. Their products are available at Publix and Target - maybe other places, I just know of these two retailers.

So far, we've only used their spray cleaner (similar to Clorox spray) and their dish detergent. I saw the spray cleaner in the store and at first, I was skeptical. But I saw that it was environmentally friendly and non-toxic. With a 8 month old and a 4 year old, I bought it. A few weeks later, I came across the dish detergent in the same Publix. So I bought that too. When I first used, I thought I was going to be disappointed. It comes out very watery and there is no fake lemony smell to tell you that this stuff cleans great. Another nod to Madison avenue for bringing us, the American Consumers, to yet another illogical conclusion. But damned if it doesn't clean just as well, if not better, than the other brands.

So, give it a try. Tell me what you think!

Cute, Even If I Do Say So Myself

Thanks Erick for taking the picture and for including it in your Flickr Photostream.

Friday Shuffle, Shuffle Me Into The Weekend, Puh-lease!

It's a coupla crazy weeks. And yes, I miss blogging. I think what I miss more is visiting (and reading) the posts of my blogging friends! So in all of this craziness that I have going on right now, I couldn't even find time to hang with Fred. So this shuffle is sans-Fred. Instead, I am using the massive compilation that I have access to via one of the servers at my work. There are over 7 thousand tracks on that bad boy. Everybody contributes. It's kinda cool because you never know what you're gonna get. To that end, I will call this source of tunes "Life".

Take 'er away, Life!

1. "Miss Bonfield", by the Fab Five. Who are the guys, you ask? Only the best Soka band there is!
2. "Say", by the Corrs. I think Hilda added this one to the mix. Not too shabby, I s'pose.
3. "Rimsky", by Arturo Sandoval
4. "Force Ten", by Rush
5. "What's the Matter Here?", by 10,000 Maniacs
6. "It Doesn't Have To Be (Like That)", by Erasure
7. "Major Tom", by David Bowie...and everyone wants to know whose shirts you wear!
8. "Family Business", by the Fugees - Okay, I know some of you are impressed.
9. "The Journey", by Boston - Okay, I know that those same people are no doubt horrified.
10. "Are You Having Any Fun", by Tony Bennett - Wow.

This shuffle has been all over the place. Which is why I guess it reminds me of a family summer road trip, and just like a family trip some of the stops were relished and others - not so much. Well, here is to awesome road trips to all! Have a great weekend!

Just for the Halibut

Some will say I am a very punny guy. Of course, most folks wouldn't dare say such a thing. But in an effort to get more people into that camp, I am bringing you some really punny stuff.

This first set comes from my memory of when I used to be in AOL chat rooms - do they still have those? Anyway, we used to think of iconic phrases or names and do a switcheroo with the word "spam". This was done as a tribute to the mystery meat of all mystery meats. Oh, oh...I just thought of a pun: What did the butcher say to the whole cow that arrived at his shop? Nice to meat you. Get it? Meat you, instead of meet you. Meat you. He's a butcher. He said meat you. Oh my Gawd, I crack myself up!

Okay, so here we go:
10. Duck! It's a drive by spamming!
9. Introducing: Spammy Davis Junior!
8. Just for the spam of it.
7. Here's spam in your eye.
6. It's all fun & games until someone loses a spam.
5. I'm so hungry I could eat a spam.
4. Let's run it up the spam pole to see if any one salutes.
3. Even a blind pig will find a spam sometimes.
2. It's so hot outside that I could fry a spam on the sidewalk.
1. All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give spam a chaaaance!

Which brings me to one of my favorite things to do in mixed company. No, not that! I like to sing the lyric "All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give peace a chaaaance!" But I change the word peace to whatever suits my fancy. One of my favorites:
All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give crack a chaaaance!
All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give necrophilia a chaaaance!
All we are sayyyyinnnnng, is give sex with your cousin a chaaaance!

And another head turner I just discovered while blogging at work: Go up to a bunch of your coworkers and say: "...and how do you spell necrophilia?".

Okay, I think I'm done now. I hope this posting was enjoyable for you as it was me. Oh, and if you want to leave a comment with some more spam phrases, be my guest!

Well, Isn't That Silly?!

I remember growing up hearing and then retelling the tale of how silly the execs. at GM were for trying to sell their Chevy Nova in Spanish speaking countries. Their silliness comes from the fact idea that the word Nova sounds a lot like the Spanish words no va, which translates to doesn't go. So, no one in those countries bought the car and it was a huge failure all because the corporation trying to sell something didn't do their research.

Well, apparently it never happened. Yes the car was sold in some Spanish speaking countries but it was not a failure and there is no evidence that consumers mistook it to mean no va. See this informative article that debunks the mythic lore on http://www.snopes.com/ for more info.

The Snopes article goes on to make the point that the folks who spread the urban legend are doing the very same thing that the tale is finding fault with: Not doing adequate research before hand. There are a lot of marketing courses and books that cite this anecdote as proof of poor preparation / fact checking. I guess the material was created before Snopes was around. :-)

There is another legendary tale of linguistic snafus in marketing about a slogan from the vacuum company, Electrolux. The slogan was, "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux" and it was purported that due to the poor translation into English, that the ad hurt sales for the company. Well, that turns out to be another falsehood because where the slogan was promoted, the U.K., the word suck is not used, or at least it wasn't used back then, to mean "to do poorly", the exact opposite of the ad's intent.

Why have I brought to you these tales of marketing gone wrong do to loose translations? I have no idea. If you figure out the reason for me, leave a post. The most probable answer will win a prize!